Episode Report Card Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Flair, Care, And The Dirty Chair
By Miss Alli | Season 2 | Episode 15 | Aired on 12.15.2004
Jen welcomes everyone to what I guess is the VIP reception, although it doesn't look very VIP to me, since there are a gazillion people there. Maybe it's an "SIP" reception. You know, for "Sorta." Among other things, they're operating a silent auction to raise money for the charity. There are a lot of game tickets up for auction, apparently, along with signed items. Like a Chris Webber jersey. Hey, at least the jersey showed up. It appears that the auction doesn't get off to a particularly impressive start until Bob Lanier jumps in and starts working the crowd good and hard, provoking them to bid on shoes and the like. What I find odd is that Jen starts bidding on things herself, apparently in her personal capacity, and...I don't know if that's a great plan. It doesn't really seem like a management solution to me; it seems like a shortcut. And then the person who eventually bids $1000 is a guy we will learn on the reunion is a Genworth guy. So...I mean, this is sort of a cooked-up thing where the people who have an interest in seeing the event go well are giving money, which is all well and good, but not really a show of skill. And if you think the editors didn't do what they could to help Jen look more competent, take note of the fact that they totally don't mention that the guy making the huge bid here is a Genworth guy and not a member of the public, so you wind up feeling like Jen just got some random guy to give $1000, when it's going to turn out later that he's an inside guy himself, so...just so you know.
At the polo match, another Genworth guy goes out to throw out the ball for the polo match. Polo follows, and somehow, they have managed to mount a polo-cam on some guy, so there are lots of horse's-eye-view shots. Kelly talks admiringly about the horses and the polo players, much in the same manner that Pamela talked about the basketball players. I'm not sure I would have spent finale time on this, although I suppose that when you have three hours to fill, you have time to sit back and enjoy the polo. After the match, Kelly comes down and meets Trump, giving a handshake before driving off in his limo.
And now, potty issues arise as Tony Bennett's...local handler or whatever comes to Kelly with news that Tony will be changing in the downstairs restrooms, which she hears are "quite unsanitary." She basically says that she'd like him either to get the bathroom up to par in the next fifteen minutes, or else to find a different place for Tony to change. I would have loved it if Kelly had said Tony could change in the stable with the horses. I don't know why it occurred to me, but it did. And yes, I was amused. Asked for his thoughts, the club manager says he doesn't have staff to send off to clean the bathroom, which is extremely difficult for me to believe, but there you go. Kelly thus sends John to work on cleaning the clubhouse up, and when John arrives at Kelly's office, some dude is on the phone complaining to some other unseen dude about how Tony can't possibly change in this bathroom where "it looks like six goats threw up." So...what, there are, like, shirts and chewed-up tin cans on the floor? What does goat vomit look like, anyway? Whatever. This dude appears to be Bennett's manager, because in an interview, Raj says that the manager was "much more in a huff than he needed to be." We watch as John adjourns to the bathroom, which is fairly unpleasant (for fuck's sake, who didn't flush?), but it's not like it's overrun with a family of possums or has moss growing in the urinals or anything. Raj and John are still cleaning as the Tony Bennett limo comes up toward the clubhouse. And then suddenly, John and Raj are outside, shaking hands with Tony Bennett (not a euphemism) and welcoming him to the club. "My hand went from scrubbing garbage juice to shaking the hand of an American icon," Raj interviews. Hopefully, there was a stop in between at a bar of soap, because otherwise, you just introduced Tony Bennett to goat vomit in a highly personal fashion, and that's no way to treat an American icon. They drop Tony inside, and he seems satisfied.
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