Episode Report Card Gustave: C- | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Day 2: 7:00 AM - 8:00 AM
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 24 | Aired on May 19, 2003
And now, for my last recap of the year, I'd like to thank all of my readers -- some of whom are quite funny themselves and either provided me with nicknames, ideas, or simply the competitive anxiety necessary to bring the funny week after week. I'd like to thank my fellow recappers at TWoP for setting the standard of excellence. I'd also like to thank Cindy from Hawaii for all the Amazon loot -- especially my new blue Fiestaware fruit bowl -- and, last but not least, Sars, for all the commas and late-night phone calls. ["My pleasure. But don't you mean 'kommas'?" -- Sars]
Blip blip blip blip blip blip blip blip. 24. Previouslys. Soul Patch and Bitchelle are detained for "pumping" Chappelle. Full of very fast-acting drugs, that is. Cate picks up Spawn at NoDaddyNo Manor, and must get beyond Spawn's newly acquired posttraumatic stress disorder. Palmer gets a lawyer. Kiefer has Lady Mac arrange a meeting with EvilChrisElliott using Hightops as bait. On their way there, Kiefer has another heart attack and loses control of the Kiefmobile.
Thunder Road. Post-accident. Atmospheric music plays, complete with synthesized "rattlesnake rattles" and Native American wind instruments, because they are in the desert. Well, the urban desert, anyway. Kiefer is fine. Lady Mac is fine. Thank you, airbags. Unfortunately, the Kiefmobile won't start and Kiefer's seatbelt is jammed. Lady Mac seizes the opportunity to pull a Julia Roberts. She gets out of the passenger side door and reaches into the backseat for her bag. "I'm sorry, Kiefer," says Lady Mac. "But I have to take care of myself. When I'm free, I'll call an ambulance." Now, I don't know about you, but if all that's separating me from Kiefer's velvety wrath is a faulty seatbelt, I'd save the speeches and run my ass off, but Lady Mac's got a monologue to deliver about the world being much more than "good and bad" and how things can be more "complicated" than the Palmers and Kiefers of this world can grasp. "No, it's simple," says Kiefer. "There's a war about to start and you're the only one who can stop it!" Okay, now how many people has Kiefer delivered a variation of this line to? How many characters have now been "the only one" who can stop either this war or the B-O-M-B? Without going back to my tapes for an accurate count, I'm just going to take a wild guess and say "twenty-four." Nevertheless, Lady Mac turns to walk -- not run -- away again, but she can't very far because the Sutherland velvet keeps pulling her back for more. "What about the President?" roars Kiefer.