Episode Report Card Erin: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Whaddya mean his name ISN'T MICHAEL VAUGHN?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.24.2005
"I had a thought," says Syd. "What if we just blow off the big wedding thing? What if we just do it on the beach?" Yes, what if you just do it on the beach? I'd imagine you'd get sand in rather interesting places, hm? "I like it," says Vaughn. "Barefoot on the beach. You'd look sexy as hell. But wait -- what about your dad? He doesn't look like the kind of guy who'd be okay with sand between his toes." No. No, he does not. He also doesn't look like the kind of guy who'd appreciate being excluded from his only daughter's wedding. "That's true," says Syd. "So…we won't invite him." What'd I just say about Jack missing his daughter's wedding? WHAT'D I JUST SAY?
Syd wants to know what would happen if they just eloped. Vaughn asks if she's serious. She is. "All right," he says, "we'll elope." Syd can't believe she got away with that so easily. "Have I told you that I love you?" she says. "Yeah," he says. "But go ahead and tell me again." "I love you," she says. He sighs deeply. "I love you too." "I know," she says. "Say it again." "I love you, Syd," he says, obviously gearing up for something huge. "That's why I need to tell you something." Oh, no. "Just so there's no secrets between us." "Okay," she says. "Whatever it is, I can handle it. Just don't tell me you're a bad guy." Uh. In that case…Vaughn doesn't respond. "You're not a bad guy, are you?" says Syd, starting to panic. Now would be a good time to panic, I think. "I guess that depends on who you ask," he says. "Vaughn --" "It's from a long time ago," he says. "From before we met. Actually, it's the reason we met. It's no accident that I was the one you came to when you walked into the CIA with your story about SD-6." Oh, man. "What --" says Syd. "I don't understand. Vaughn, what're you telling me?" "Well," he says, "for starters, my name isn't Michael Vaughn." WHAT? Syd pulls back, and WHAM! A car crashes right into the side of them and BLACKOUT.
BLACKOUT? BLACKOUT? "My name isn't Michael Vaughn" and BLACKOUT??? What the? How the? AND I WAS PREDICTING SEASON FIVE WOULD SUCK DONKEY BALLS. Oh, man. All I can say is, since my trusty sidekick Wendy Kroy hasn't watched the last ten episodes of the season, he wasn't able to join me in the viewing of this total FUCKWITTEDNESS, but one second after the car crashed into Syd and Vaughn, my phone rang and this is the conversation that occurred:
Sars: Dude.