Episode Report Card Erin: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Whaddya mean his name ISN'T MICHAEL VAUGHN?
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 22 | Aired on 05.24.2005
And now is the time on Alias when we fire up the nuclear-fueled bong and attempt to get through at least the first half of this episode without falling asleep just so we can get to the last half that is at least a little more exciting…
Once below ground, Nadia and Syd are greeted by a dead guy and the switching room. Syd tells Jack that they'll set green lines all the way down the line. Jack, on a subway car, says that it'll take a few minutes to get the power rejiggered and then he asks Vaughn how the brakes are coming. Vaughn, below the car with Irina, says the brakes are seized up, but they're working on it. If they bleed the brake fluid, they should be able to free the brakes, but they'll have no manual stopping power. Nadia pipes up that they can set the track switch at the Oransky station to trigger an emergency stop, so that shouldn't be a problem. Jack tells everyone to be careful out there.
Below the car, Irina tells Vaughn that he shouldn't wait. Vaughn's all, for what? Irina's all, dude. I saw the ring. Vaughn's all, yeah. You know what? You killed my father. I'm not really into listening to any advice you might have to offer, mmm-kay? Also? I don't have to ask for your blessings. Irina's all, yeah, well, I'm giving them anyway. Along with some advice. Vaughn sneers, "Marital advice from you. Wonderful. Like what? Don't betray your spouse?" Heh. "Yeah, that'd be one of 'em," quips Irina. Heh heh. She goes on to say that some secrets are acceptable between a husband and a wife. "However," she says, "your activities are not." D'oh. He's all, huh? Whuh? She's all, yeah, you're not as covert as you'd like to think, babe. "Consider my life an object lesson," she says. "If you don't want to end up like Jack and me, tell Sydney the truth." Oh, that will NOT end well.
Back with Syd and Nadia, they set the switches and don't immediately get all green lights. Looks like they have to set the switches manually. Nadia sighs heavily. "You still feeling it too?" asks Syd. "Like something awful is going to happen," says Nadia. Well, there's a big red orb hanging in the sky and the city's filled with psycho zombies, isn't that enough awfulness for ya? Syd thinks this is the prime time to tell her sister that Vaughn asked her to marry him. Nadia thinks this is awesome. "I'm sure there are plenty of brides who want to kill their maid of honor," says Syd. "I'm not one of them." I took this to mean that even though the stupid prophecy has them killing one another, Syd's not buying into it because she wouldn't kill her own sister. I could be off on this, but at this point, I just want to get to the part where Jack starts making jokes while torturing Elena. Syd says she'll take the switch in front and Nadia can take the switch in back and the sisters head off to do their thing.
Apple Store. Weiss is speaking truly horrific Russian on the phone as Marshall listens in. Marshall's running a translator program so that Weiss can interpret what the Russian dude is saying and then respond in kind. "We are needing your codes of MILSAT network…" says Weiss, butchering whatever language it is that the program is attempting to translate. Heh. The Russian dude is all, man, your Russian sucks. Now bugger off. I have no time for you. "Whatever, I wrote this program in five minutes, you perv!" Marshall hisses with his hand over the mouthpiece. Hee! Weiss just angrily switches to English and tells the Russian that they need his MILSAT codes, NOW. Failure to hand them over will result in Weiss sending the dirty photos to every major news organization on the planet. The Russian is all, one, I have no idea what you're talking about, and B, I'm running a trace on this call. "Great!" says Weiss. "I look forward to meeting you! Hey, listen, while I've got you on the phone, maybe you can tell me something -- what's the significance of the green balloons?" Hee! There's this pause and then the Russian just caves and gives up his code. "Now, if those photos should ever --" the Russian begins. "Oh, sure thing Minister," snits Weiss. "Or should I call you [bad Russian accent] 'cowboy'?" HA! Giggling, he and Marshall get off the phone and head off to enter the codes.