Episode Report Card Erin: C+ | 1 USERS: C YOU GRADE IT Thank you for flying Exposition Airlines
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.10.2004
Kendall picks up a call on his cell phone and walks off. Syd and Vaughn share a couple of rather guilty-looking and slightly hostile looks; then Syd walks off. Agent Sean's all, dude? What is UP with you two? Vaughn's all, tell ya later, dude. They walk off. Elsewhere, Syd runs into Dixon. They're both dressed in swanky black op duds. Syd's all, dude? What're you doin' in op duds? Dix walks over and drops the bomb that the day Syd called Kendall from Rome, he (Dix) was in the office. He knew that Syd was alive. He's known the truth about what happened to Syd all along, but he was ordered to say nothing. He kind of comments that now he knows how she must have felt all those years at SD-6, having to keep the truth from her loved ones. Syd asks if he's coming with them on the op. "Of course I am," he says with emotion. "It's personal for me too." He walks off, and Syd looks after him.
Patagonia. I totally can't come up with anything funny for this location because I just think of Patagonia coats when I hear this name. I don't even think of the location anymore. Isn't that kind of sad? Also? When you type "Patagonia" into Google, the coat company comes up first. I think that's even sadder than the fact that I didn't know where in the hell Patagonia WAS. Right. So, a plane flies over Patagonia. The Krew fling themselves out and sail down in their parachutes. Once on the ground, they gather their guns and get moving toward some church in the distance.
Outside the church, they drop a guard with a tranq. Inside, they make their way toward the fertilization area. Heh. "Fertilization area." Heh heh. Yeah. Because I am TWELVE. Also? I am annoyed. A church? For a sanitized laboratory experiment? Hi. They couldn't have, oh, I don't know, HIJACKED AN ACTUAL LAB or something? The hell? I mean, it's pretty and all, but it's totally unrealistic. Even for this show. The Krew toss some tear gas near the altar, and the guns start blazing. Shooting shooting shooting. Approximately four trillion, three hundred billion, twenty-two million blanks were used during this scene. No Sarks or Vaughns were harmed. Several useless henchmen were, however. I'm quite impressed to see that Sark actually pulls a little double-gun shooting action here that makes him hotter than ever, if that's even possible. After the final squib has, erm, squibbed, the Krew makes their way toward the altar, where a computer screen shows what looks like an egg, splitting in two. That can't be good.
Dix and Syd stand at the altar of fertilization, and Dix tells her that Kendall wants everything brought back to Oops Center for analysis. Dix just shoots Syd a look. "Do your thing," he says, walking off. Syd's "thing" obviously involves a flame thrower and some opera music, because she takes a torch to the place, paying specific attention to her harvested eggs, while a chorus of angry castratos heave and moan over the soundtrack. Good thing Syd brought along her handy Fire Blaster 2004, yeah? Because, you know, Sark probably didn't get away with a couple vials of DNA and some eggs, right? So taking a flamethrower to the place actually ends this whole thing, huh? HUH?