Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | 27 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT That's (The Opposite Of) Amore
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 8
Teresa takes Juicy out of the room as he and Joe scream some threats at each other. In an interview, she wonders what the eff just happened. She blames it on her brother going into crazy mode, like he did at the christening way back when. She claims not to know who he is anymore, though all signs point to "the same dumb-ass as always." Meanwhile, Melissa tells Joe that they're white trash now, and he slams his mic pack down while yelling about fucking scumbags. Kathy just stands and shakes her head while Richie says that he doesn't want to see these two guys, who grew up together and once were friends, kill each other. I mean, if they both ended up dead, I'd actually call it a win-win all around.
And then a mysterious thing happens, which is that everyone has black shit all over them. Teresa thinks it must be Melissa's makeup, which is actually not a bad theory. Is it maybe Joe Gorga's spray-on hair? As Joe and Melissa walk to another part of the castle, Melissa complains about how disgusting animal Teresa walked away from the fight, like the devil would do. Teresa, meanwhile, wants to hit Melissa in the face. I mean, it seems like the natural progression of things. I'm sure Steve and Stephanie would find an excellent place in the room to stand and scratch themselves were that to occur.
After a break, Joe Gorga interviews that he hates Juicy so much that he wants to skin him. And then wear that skin as a dress, a la Buffalo Bill. I mean, that's more of an inference on my part but I still believe it has validity. Joe says that Juicy is the one who ruined the entire family, but karma's a bitch and maybe just maybe he'll go to jail. Melissa says that she's done with the whole family, and tells Joe that Saddam Hussein is someone's brother too, but that doesn't mean he's a good person. I just want everyone to take a moment and be aware that Melissa just compared Teresa to Saddam Hussein. Perhaps not completely unwarranted. Meanwhile, Juicy tells Teresa how Joe came at him, and about the nut-biting. Teresa says she could deal when Joe called her garbage, and mentioned the fact that he does not call his wife a cunt, but apparently "scum" is taking it over the line. I don't entirely understand why this is, so will just assume it's an Italian thing. Rosie and the Wakiles discuss, and the best thing since Steve and Stephanie happens when Kathy says, "I was just worried about my nose job." Always with the practical reaction! Put that in your cannoli!