Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: A | 955 USERS: A- YOU GRADE IT True Love's Kiss
By Cindy McLennan | Season 1 | Episode 22 | Aired on 2012.05.13
Enchanted Forest, Pre-Curse. Maleficent climbs the stairs to her throne. She's still blonde, darn it. When she takes her seat, Charming appears out of nowhere and puts a sword to her neck. "Where is the beast who reigns over this castle?" Malef magics him down the stairs, then rises and says, "That would be me, but beast is so harsh. I prefer Maleficent." She says her name incorrectly. I cringe. Charming: "I'm gonna need a smaller egg." Ha! When Malef says, "Such a shame. So handsome," Charming struggles to his feet. Maleficent waves her hand in a semi-circle and blows, extinguishing all the light in the castle. We hear her laugh, as if far away. Charming: "Show yourself, witch." She does -- and she's a dragon now. YES!
Elevator. Emma reaches her destination. She strolls through caves and comes across Snow's glass coffin. Since she's still getting used to the truth, she's a bit overwhelmed and backs away from it. She's leaning against what she must assume is a wall. A giant green eye opens next to her. Emma's hand senses the scaly texture of the "wall" and turns to see it is the dragon! As it roars and breathes fire, the dragon's chest glows. Emma freaks all the way into a Dark Shadows commercial.
Charming's Timeline. The dragon breaths fire at our valiant hero, who manages to get to a hallway too small for the beast too enter. He looks down at the magic containing egg and steels himself before he reveals himself to the beast and yells, "Come on."
Recapper's Timeline. Your recapper's son enters her office and starts telling her about his video game. Your recapper puts on her I'm listening face -- you know, the face that is a total liar? Story complete, your recapper laughs as if she understood the story and/or its point. Satisfied, her son walks off and your recapper starts up the TiVo again -- just as her husband starts snoring. Your recapper is tempted to check out fml.com, but she resists.
Emma's Timeline. Emma stands with Charming's sword pointed at the dragon and then realizes she doesn't even know how to fence. Throwing down the weapon, she says, "To hell with this" and pulls out her service revolver. Silly old bear. You can't kill a dragon with a gun. I'd be harder on her, but she was a de facto orphan. Maybe nobody ever read to her. Oh gosh, that was supposed to be quippy, but it just made me really sad.
Charming's Timeline. He leads the beast on a chase.
Emma's Timeline. Having little luck shooting it, Emma tries to hide from the dragon.