Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "My Husband's Back And He Phases Through Solid Matter"
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.29.2006
In Texas, Claire is walking home with Zach, apparently having told him what we already know about her upcoming parental meet-and-greet. "How am I supposed to ask someone if they're [sic] a freak when they're probably just going to lie about it like I do?" Claire asks rhetorically. Zach suggests that she ask her faux-rents what happens when they cut themselves: "Or you could just cut them and find out." You know, meetings like this are so fraught with tension even when no one's a freak that cutting them might be a decent icebreaker. Claire chuckles that, if she did, they'd probably just take it as evidence that she's bitter that they "gave [her] away." Zach good-naturedly opines that although she can be "a little bitchy," Claire isn't bitter -- "about the adoption thing," at least. Claire agrees that she isn't: "I'm curious about it, and it's a little weird and maybe a little sad, but I'm not mad. I mean, I love my parents." Zach muses that Claire's life would be different if her biological parents had raised her. Claire stops in the driveway and asks Zach, very seriously, "What if they can do what I can do? What if they're like me?" Zach says he hopes they can't; he likes that Claire's uniqueness makes her special. Looking pleased, Claire asks, "Are you flirting with me?" Zach scoffs, "No! Believe me, no." Zach, you fool, that was your in! Just think about the wild times you could have with Claire! I feel pretty confident that she would like it rough. ["I, meanwhile, feel pretty confident that Zach does not swing Claire's way, but maybe that's just me." -- Sars] Anyway, Claire looks a little sad to have been so decisively shut down, but Zach doesn't notice as he barrels ahead, asking whether she plans to "come out" to her non-bio-parents. Claire dramatic-ironies that her dad is "a really simple guy. He'd never be able to wrap his mind around something like that." Well, sure -- he has a guy whose job it is to wrap his mind around things.
In their rental, Hiro is miming swordplay -- complete with light-saber sound effects -- as Ando worriedly asks what happens if they get to New York and it explodes. Hiro declares that if they get to New York, it won't explode; it's a "heroic journey." "It's your heroic journey," Ando pouts. Hiro stresses that it's their heroic journey, and that you don't have to have superpowers to be a hero. The way he says it is much less condescending than the way it reads, I swear. Anyway, Ando seems to accept that, and starts the car, asking why FutureHiro didn't deliver his message to PresentHiro and Ando, as opposed to that little bitch Peter. Hiro offers an explanation involving a rift in the space-time continuum. "You're talking out of your ass," says Ando -- correctly, from what we've seen. Ando starts to back the car up, but a gigantic SUV pulls up behind them, blocking them in. The poor man's David Koechner-looking High Roller is sitting in the passenger seat, and taps the brim of his hat. Ando yelps at Hiro to teleport them somewhere, but the guy is immediately at Hiro's window, tapping politely and assuring them that he just wants to talk. Hiro lowers his window a tiny bit. Ando insists that they didn't cheat, but Koechnot says he knows they did; he just doesn't know how: "Now it's time for a little payback." Snakes On A Poker Table!