Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "My Husband's Back And He Phases Through Solid Matter"
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.29.2006
Cut back and forth for twenty minutes between Niki, sad in bed, and D.L., frustrated on the couch. She eventually gets up to put her wedding ring back on (while he contemplates his), and then finally gets up and tells him to come to bed. Conjugal visit, y'all, what what?
Koechnot has brought Hiro and Ando to a backroom poker game, where Ando is playing with Koechnot, some grimy hipster in a red Adidas tracksuit, and a terrifying, yellow-haired troll of a Vegas cliché who seriously never got the memo about sunscreen. We determine via subtitle that Hiro wants to get back to the quest, but that Koechnot is making Ando play until he (and Hiro) can win back all the money Koechnot lost to them. Ando tells Hiro to give the other players good cards, "but not too good." Leathertroll orders Ando back to the table, dealing a new hand while making lazily offensive inquiries about Ando's "system": "Some ancient Oriental voodoo?" Ando calmly replies that he has no system: "Japanese people very lucky." Leathertroll threatens, "Japanese people better run out of luck soon. I'm starting to think I'm getting hustled." Koechnot assures him that it's just a friendly game, and Ando agrees: "No hustle. Only good fortune." Whereupon, of course, Hiro stops time, sorts out everyone's hands, and starts it up again. Ando spreads his cards to find a 10-high straight flush. This isn't Celebrity Poker Showdown, so I'll just say that play continues, Ando makes a suspiciously high bet, and Hiro -- in shock -- knocks over a cart of something and falls in the clatter. His head pops up from under the table: "Sorry! Beg pardon!" Ando ducks down with him for a second -- to help Hiro pick up what he knocked over, I think -- and sees that Leathertroll has a gun under the table, pointed straight at him. He stands up and says that he and Hiro "must use bathroom." "Now?" whines Tracksuit. "We're in the middle of a hand." Ando says he's drunk too much beer. "You guys go to the bathroom together?" squints Leathertroll. Ando: "Yes. It is how we roll."
Ando shoves Hiro into the filthy can, Hiro protesting that he doesn't have to pee. Hiro, just try. You can probably go a little, and then you won't have to try to find a rest area later. Ando tells Hiro about the gun. From the other side of the door, we can hear one of the dudes asking, "Hey, who invited her?" Ando is telling Hiro to get them out of there when they hear scary sounds outside, like some online stripper's bad-ass alter ego is tearing the shit out of Hiro and Ando's adversaries. They stare at their side of the bathroom door a moment, and then Hiro squeezes his eyes shut, trying to stop time so that he can save their poker buddies from almost certain death. Time does not stop, however, and presently, someone's head gets smashed into the door hard enough to crack it and let blood ooze through to the other side. In the ensuing quiet, Ando shushes Hiro, and we can hear the uninvited woman tip-tapping off on her high heels. Transfixed by the oozing blood, Hiro sadly says, "I couldn't save them. I just hid in here. A hero doesn't hide." "He does if he wants to live," says the ever-practical Ando, directing Hiro toward the bathroom window. Survive or perish. Remember? Mohinder narrated it, so it must be important.