Episode Report Card Wing Chun: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT "My Husband's Back And He Phases Through Solid Matter"
By Wing Chun | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.29.2006
Niki opens the door to an extremely green-looking cop. And by that I mean he looks young and untested, and not actually green in the manner of the Incredible Hulk. UNFORTUNATELY. Officer Green says they thought they heard something in the house, and asks if everything's all right. Niki dreamily says that she was talking with her son. Officer Green says that if she needs anything, they're right out front. Niki gives him some medium-intensity mad eyes, and he sort of twigs and quietly tells her, "If you want us to come inside, just nod your head." Niki's eyes ratchet up one mad notch, and then she blinks and faux-relaxes, assuring him that she's just tired, a silly woman, blonde, et cetera. Taking her at her word, for now, the cop takes off.
Niki closes the door and turns around to see D.L. well into her personal space. She purposefully stomps over to close Micah's bedroom door (I think -- did I mention it's fucking dark, and that there isn't a room in Niki's house that hasn't been decorated with mirrors?), and then orders D.L. to tell her what happened. He launches right in, saying that he planned the job. "I know that you planned the job," she crabs. "'Baby, it's gonna solve all our problems.'" Worst D.L. impression ever. D.L. defensively says that the job would have netted them $2 million -- "enough to get us out of Vegas." How the hell far did you intend to go, dude? It's Vegas, not Alcatraz. "Money that you stole from Linderman," Niki exposits. D.L. says...something mumbly, but the gist is that Linderman would not have been pleased at the loss and would have killed all three members of the Hawkins/Sanders family, so D.L. pussed out. ("Stepped out" is how he puts it, to look like less of a puss.) But then someone else "stepped in," knowing the whole plan, and killed D.L.'s crew. "And made off with all the money?" Niki asks. "You have no idea who that is?" As soon as D.L. says, "I know it was a woman," everyone had better know how the storyline plays out, and anyone who didn't, I will assume that you either have never watched TV before or suffered a head injury at 8:40 the night this aired, because otherwise, you just make me sad. Giving credence to the "brain tumour" theory she will bust out later, Niki's like, "'Woman'?" D.L. knows a guy who cleans money, and who just cleaned $2 million for someone; he's going to see this dude tomorrow and find out more about his quarry. It's hard to tell whether Niki believes this tale or not, because Ali Larter is kind of a bitchface at all times.