Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT 100% Chance of Pain
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.21.2011
Hank Hooper materializes from nowhere and hears that Lemon is talking to Tracy. He says he popped by to personally introduce himself to Tracy. Lemon lies that Tracy likes to learn his lines locked in the bathroom. Hank tells her, "Good luck tonight, you're going to need it!" He leaves, and Lemon returns to cajoling Tracy to return to the show. She digs deep and decides there's only one place that will revive his dying spirit: The strip club.
At da club, Lemon heads back to the table with a head-heavy glass of beer. She offers to buy a lap dance with her PayPal account. But it's already too late. The stripper recognizes Tracy from Hard to Watch and gushes over how his performance changed her life. Flash forward to seven minutes later, when Tracy is trying to discourage all the crying strippers from sharing their bullshit with him. One of them is particularly fond of his phrase from the movie, "I invent my tomorrow." He gruffs, "But I wasn't even supposed to say that. The line was 'Shireen, I hope Dr. Ngutu has good news about my endoscopy,' but I couldn't get it right so they told me to improv!" Lemon stands on the stage and rains down money onto the strippers in one last attempt, but she soon enough sees Tracy is irreparably damaged. Plus the strip club owner comes at her with a broom, shouting, "Get off the stage! No whites!"
30 Rock. Kenneth enters Jenna's dressing room to find candles, incense and a very sultry-looking Jenna waiting for him. She reminds him about their joke about having his baby. He laughs it off, saying it's crazy. And she agrees, then adds, "Unless you're into it," before slamming the door behind him. He tells her it's wrong because they're not married and of different religions. She purrs that he might be her only chance, then tries to seduce him by sticking her fingers in his mouth. He gags and runs out of the room. She yells after him, "Fine! I'll get you while you're sleeping! It's not rape if neither party really wants it."
She blows out a whale semen candle and returns it to Tracy. He tells her he's quitting showbiz because he can't stop the horrible respect people have for him. Jenna says in confidence that Tracy can't quit because she and the show both need him. She tells him to consider child-raping Roman Polanski or Communist informer Elia Kazan who earned respect despite the odds. Tracy says, "That's crazy! A man named Elia. That's a giraffe's name!" Jenna says the only celebrities who completely undo their goodwill are murderers. Tracy thinks that's nuts, even for them. Jenna jokes that it would take a pretty big gas leak for them to go through with that plan.