Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT 100% Chance of Pain
By Lady Lola | Season 5 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.21.2011
Lemon strides through the writers' room and into her office, where Dennis is waiting for her. Through a long, unwieldy rant, he drops two facts: 1.) He's immune to gas and 2.) He'll never do better than Lemon. She still rejects him, so he goes down to re-break the gas line.
Upstairs, Jack's door busts down yet again. Except this time it's Past Jack, from the past when everyone talks like Ronald Reagan went surfing. He threatens to jump out the window if Jack is what he's going to become. CEO Jack appears in a tuxedo to stop him and to tell Jack he can fix everything by getting rid of Lemon. Jack doesn't know if he can, so Past Jack tries to stick it to him by hitting himself in the groin. Unfortunately, Past Jack isn't the brightest Jack in the Box, so it only hurts him. CEO Jack tells Jack to be the man he was meant to be, adding, "This tuxedo was made out of the puma that I rode to my 50th birthday party." Jack notes both CEO Jack and Past Jack are wearing tuxedos. They duh, "It's after six. What are we, farmers?"
Dr. Spaceman is downstairs to do a completely useless check-up on high-as-a-kite Pete. Jenna walks in with the baby bump in full view, which she now pawns off to being a hysterical pregnancy. Jenna wonders why she's so unhappy when she's supposedly getting everything she wants, minus the actual child. Her personal crisis bores Dr. Spaceman, so he leaves as Danny starts singing about his memories -- all of which flash back to Jenna's old costar. He eventually falls backward over a drum set.
Out in the corridor, Tracy and Kenneth stop right under the air shaft to chat about Tracy leaving. Kenneth refuses to believe it, but Tracy says the only way he can stay is to shoot someone. They decide to take a deep breath as they consider that prospect. Jacked up on gas, they think it's a brilliant idea and decide to go to the roof and make it work.
Lemon comes across them as she stumbles down the hall, where she finds Dennis. He has come to get her to sign a lease so he can move in to her apartment. He promises to make her chili every night and provide for her. She agrees to sign the lease, but she doesn't have a pen, and all Dennis has is a kick-ass laser pointer he points at nerds' crotches in the park. She puts her head on his shoulder, and they go looking for a pen.
Upstairs, the three Jacks are acquainted with a fourth Jack: Future Jack from 30 years to come. He warns Jack not to listen to the others and promises he'll be happy. CEO Jack tells Jack not to listen to Future Jack. If he chooses his path, he'll spearhead GE's work on the electric vagina, he'll have a cold glass house, and he'll own the Buffalo Bills. Jack looks troubled, "You didn't say it was the Bills." Future Jack tells Jack not to let Lemon sign the lease with Dennis or she'll be married to him and living in Jacksonville in three years' time. Say Jack, "Her hair can't handle that humidity!" Then he has a change of heart and says he's tired of saving Lemon. Future Jack says that, in saving Lemon, Jack would be saving himself, too. CEO Jack encourages Jack once more to fire Lemon, and Jack gets in the elevator. As the door closes behind him, all three alternaJacks look each other up and down. CEO Jack finally says the obvious, "We're gonna have sex with each other, right?"