Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Neutral Corners
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.11.2001
Glenn enters Ally's office, and after a moment of non-sexual tension, he tries to get her to convince Jenny to settle on the case. Because Ally and Jenny are close, aren't they? Aren't they? Ally is all, "I'm thirty-one, and I don't like to play games." The fuck? Glenn is stumped when Ally says, "There's some chemistry going on." Glenn then says he's sorry if Ally got the idea that he was interested in her. She deflates, literally. Then, ha ha, it was a joke! She's a joker, not a smoker, or a midnight toker! Ha ha! Glenn leaves; Ally sharpens a pencil and does not -- though she could have -- jam it in her eye.
Aerial shot of Boston. Drink! Ray and Glenn are chowng on burgers at a fast-food joint. Does Glenn think Ally's cute? Kind of. Ray thinks the "Jane Hathaway corporate thing" indicates that Ally is "a sex machine." Sputter, choke. Ray wants to ask her out. Glenn thought Ray already did. Ray did, but "got distracted by Loin." He means Ling. What does Glenn think? Oh my god, will the high-school shit NEVER END? Glenn says he thinks Ray and Ally would be good together. Oh, barf. Ray will go for it. Of course.
Ally's with El Shrinkador. He asks for her hand, then says he wants to "confront" the issues in her dream. "Sex is the gateway to life," he says. Ally tries to wrest her hand back. El Shrinkador isn't letting go. "Lust is good," he says, then releases her bony mitt. Oh yeah? She asks for his hand. "I haven't a clue what you're saying," she says. The doc is like, "Drink from the forbidden nectar of the forbidden fruit. Navigate the passage. Surrender to your want." Ally asks whether he's telling her to go to the boy. "Oh, yes," says the doc. Oh, duh, says me. Ally badly needs to get laid.
In the Unisex, Ally is shaking out her bad hair, in her bad plaid suit, telling Jenny that they should settle and be practical. Jenny asks "who made up that rule." Not Dame Edna, who emerges from a stall just in time to say that this case isn't about money, but justice, because the phone companies "don't care about the little private things we all like to do in our own homes." Ally and Jenny exchange a look, like, ooh, what ever could Dame Edna do in her own home? Something so crazy and nutty! Like sew paillettes and sequins on an oversized cardigan! Woo! John enters, in his suit, and asks Ally how things are going. Dame Edna gets an eyeful and says, "One of us isn't being honest with himself, now, is he?" Criminy.
Ling and Fish enter the office, Fish wondering why the TV crew needs to shoot inside the law firm. Ally is incredulously disdainful. Ling wonders why she shouldn't have her own TV show. Seriously. Then, Ling asks Glenn to sing at her party -- something anthemic. Elaine won't sing because "she's only a secratary." Ooh, burn! Ally asks to "borrow" the camera crew after Ling's finished. Ling agrees.