Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Neutral Corners
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.11.2001
Ally and Jenny take pleasure in blowing Fish's mind about the $15 million settlement. The firm gets a third of that, you know. That's a lot of cabbage. Fish sniffles with tears of joy. Then, Glenn busts into Ling's song: a Sinatra-esque rendition of "Witchcraft." Does he really sing? Maybe. I have no idea. ["Because I'm a dork, I looked on the IMDb and saw that James Marsden sang in his college choir." -- Wing Chun] Ling looks flattered, and miffed at lines like "There's no nicer witch than you." Is this her sendoff from the show? Oh, my sweet lord. Life is so unfair. Ally gulps her martini when Glenn looks in her direction. Gulp away, you loser freak.
Office. Ally's standing behind her desk in her hideous suit. Glenn enters -- to get his stuff, so he says. He offers to walk Ally home. They stare at each other with purpose. Oh my god, WILL SOMEONE GET LAID, already? Ally says she still has stuff to do. Glenn approaches her and said he lied, and he is interested in her. Duh! Jenny is an issue. Double duh! Ally blathers that the attraction is probably just an "exaggerated sense of victory," and that "it would destroy Jenny." So, no dating. Nope. Ally says she doesn't "trust herself to be walked home by" Glenn. They can't do it. Or can they? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, someone just bend someone else over the desk and DO IT ALREADY. Finally, Glenn leaves. No one got any. Ally calls him back to say that Glenn is "a pretty great guy." Glenn splits, bumping into John. Vonda starts humming, or something. Ally sees John, and her face does something. John's face does something. Wow, I wonder what is going on here? Oh no, the episode is over! Will I ever find out?