Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Neutral Corners
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 3 | Aired on 11.11.2001
The Four Geeks are performing their very stiff and white intrepretation of Motown. The bar is packed, and hopping. Ling is like, "Who are all these people?" Richard rented them, along with the bar for the night, to make Ling feel popular. "Enjoy it!" Hee. Jenny and Glenn split, since the phone company goons are coming back for settlement meeting.
John enters Ally's office and apologizes. Sorry for baring my soul to you! Sorry I ever cared! Sorry that my love for you isn't good enough! No, that was me. John says he's sorry for putting Ally "in a difficult position," (hee!) but he's glad he expressed himself to the woman he thinks is his soulmate. Because keeping his feelings to himself would be lame. Glenn enters and thinks that John is talking about him. Like he and Ally are supposed to be soulmates? What-the-fuck-EVER! Ally stands up, sees Glenn, and rather coldly asks what he wants. The settlement guys are here, he stammers. Oh, christ.
Conference room. They've upped the offer to non-negotiable. Ally and the team make to leave. Glenn poses the argument that juries hate monolthic corporations. Even if the firm accepted $36 million, that would only mean $500 per client. The ad they made with Dame Edna could triple the amount of clients overnight, bumping the cash amount up to $100 million. Which is but a drop in the bucket for a big-ass phone company. So, how does $15 million sound? $208 per plaintiff, minus contingency for the firm of Cage and Fish. The evil phone guy looks around squintily, then drops the bomb. "Done." Holy shit, that's a lot of change.
Back at the bar, the Four Geeks are going off, white-ly, again. There's a million shots of people wiggling and dancing, and unrequired close-ups of undulating midriffs. We get it. Ally and Jenny giggle over their win, and laugh at Hot Guy Ray slumped in the corner. "He doesn't like to lose." Aww! Glenn is getting his groove on with Portia. Go Portia! Get your screen time! Put that dance background to use! Aww, it will suck when Portia leaves. Jenny says, "Maybe Glenn and she...?" Oh my god, why does Jenny care so much where Glenn sticks his dick next? What a freak. Then I scream really loudly so I don't have to hear Ally ask whether it would be weird for Jenny and Glenn to be working together with Glenn dating a chick from the same firm where they all work, nor to hear Jenny say AGAIN how much she'd like it if Ally and Glenn dated. No, I screamed long and loud. Didn't hear any of that blather. Nope.