Episode Report Card Keckler: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Let That Be Your Last Bakulafield
By Keckler | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 01.13.2004
In a corridor, Doubting Thomas berates his wife for going to Phlox and putting them at risk. Mrs. Doubting Thomas says she didn't get the chance to have the abortion before Phlox was put under guard, but Doubting Thomas thinks it's just as well. They argue about whether Doubting Thomas has changed his mind, and Mrs. D.T. says she won't watch her son or daughter fight in Digimon's war. Doubting Thomas says that with Enterprise, they'll end the war once and for all. "You don't believe that any more than I do," Mrs. D.T. says. Doubting Thomas leaves.
Digimon reads Quantum's diary in the captain's ready room. What a snoop. Quantum enters and stares at the computer screen. "Ah, I'm glad you've come," Digimon says, oozing pleasantness and tartuffery. "I was just looking at your captain's logs -- I had no idea we were such kindred spirits." Oh, STOP your Anne of Green Gablesing! Sanctimonious ass. Digimon thinks they're cut from the same Technicolor dreamcoat cloth because they are both fighting to save their people. Quantum points out that he's trying to prevent the destruction of his world, whereas Digimon is wiping out dissenting beliefs. Digimon still believes they aren't as different as he thinks. "I draw the line at murdering people," Quantum says. "And not torture," Digimon shoots back. "Oh, right, 'torture,'" Continuity says, holding his bladder firm. Quantum says he needed information, and the tortured pirate wasn't hurt in the least. "I sympathize, Captain," Digimon patronizes unctuously. And then tells a story, illustrating the "hard choices" he's had to make "as well." It all amounts to murdering a six-year-old child in order to protect an intelligence-gathering mission. Well, that's it -- he's a child-killer. If we weren't convinced yet that he was Really Bad, we are now and there's no going back on the path of redemption. "You're proud of that," Quantum states. Digimon steps away from the WOTWW that he usurped and again puts up those two Jesus fingers to say, "In the service of The Makers all action are blessed ones." You know what you can do with those two fingers? Sit and spin, buddy. Quantum spits out that there are no Makers, and that the mechanized spheres are there for reasons yet to be comprehended by either of them. Digimon smiles and says condescendingly, "I was once like you, but then I felt the Breath." There's that stupid "Breath" again. All I can think of is "the Breath of God" from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Dripping self-importance, Digimon tells Quantum that he prayed The Makers would open his eyes to the truth, "but it seems that they've turned away." I really, REALLY hope Quantum kills him in this episode. Quantum says he's chosen the burnt offering, and that he choo-choo-chooses to sacrifice himself. That was a predictable Kirkian move. Picard, Sisko, and Janeway all would have done the same. Of course, in "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield," Kirk was willing to sacrifice the entire ship and crew -- as well as himself -- and I don't see Quantum ever doing that. Which is meant as a compliment. I always thought that in too many episodes, Kirk was all too eager to make the decision to kill off his crew and himself in order to "win." Digimon is surprised by Quantum's decision. Quantum looks smug and says, "You wanted to kill someone. Kill me." Now, normally you all know that I would be first in line to carry out that request, but I hate Digimon much more than Quantum in this episode. In fact, I might go so far as to say I actually like Quantum in this episode. I know, gasp, but there it is.
After commercials, Digimon urges Quantum to reconsider. Quantum won't allow anyone else to pay for something that happened under his command. "But what about your mission? When I'm through with your ship, your crew will need their captain," Digimon reminds him. Quantum stiffens his spine, looks off into the distance, and says, "T'Pol's a fine commander." Digimon again persists in saying how alike the two of them are. "I would make the same choice," he adds. Yeah, but I don't think so -- not when you have all your followers programmed to sacrifice themselves in your stead. Fan-ASS-tic. Quantum asks Digimon to grant him a request. Of course, Digimon is more than happy to. "My people have certain customs regarding death. There's a device on board -- we use it to dispose of hazardous materials...but on rare occasions when the situation arises, we've also used it for executions. It's considered humane," Quantum says. Death by transporter -- excellent. Digimon wants to see "this device."