Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT All about Todd
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.01.2002
Xander entering the CTU floor from the Kiefer Kube. He walks up to Soul Patch, who is hard at work at his desk, and asks him about the latest status on the Kieferettes. Soul Patch hasn't found out anything significant, except for the fact that it appears the Safe House agents died protecting the Kieferettes. Xander tells Soul Patch that it's really important that the Kieferettes are found, and says something about some task force that Soul Patch should stay in touch with or something. But, as Xander reminds him, the news of the missing Kieferettes shouldn't be disklosed to Kiefer. This almost prompts another konfrontation between Soul Patch and Xander about the prudence of keeping the news from Kiefer. Xander is pro. Soul Patch is kon.
Back at The Frat House Of Bad Life Decisions, Spawn and Rick search DeadDan's room while SkankOfRick skanks out on a beanbag and demands to know what they're looking for. Okay, she's not really skanking out on a beanbag -- it's more of an air mattress, but it should be a beanbag, it just should. Spawn answers that she's looking for information about the people who took her mother. "What are you going to do?" says SkankOfRick. "Call them and ask them for your mom back?" Uh, actually, I could see Spawn doing just that. Furthermore, she'd be really surprised when it didn't work. Spawn replies that she's going to hand over the information over to "the police." SkankOfRick asks Rick how he feels about Spawn bringing the police over, you know, with all the drugs lying around. Spawn assures them that she'll turn over any information her "dad," then, who, I guess, is kooler. Skank Ann Nivens just shrugs and points out that Dan is going to "go ballistic" if he finds out about Rick and Spawn going through his stuff. When she's out of earshot, Spawn wants to know what's up with Rick keeping the news of Dan's death from his skank. "I don't want to freak her out," explains Rick. Plus, he explains, Dan's brother Frank is on his way over, and he doesn't want Frank to know either. Spawn sighs about not even knowing why she's there in the first place. This makes Rick all self-conscious and sort of disappointed. Spawn notices that Rick is feeling self-conscious and sort of disappointed. They have a moment.
Speaking of moments, Dr. Phil is phil-ling Bride of Kiefer in on her pre-amnesia life -- well except for that whole business about getting kidnapped by terrorists with a personal grudge against her husband. According to Dr. Phil, Bride has a husband and a daughter. "I have a daughter?" asks Bride, barely able to keep the disgust out of her voice. I take it she's getting some memories of Spawn back. Dr. Phil also explains that he and Bride were "friends" during her separation from Kiefer. He wanted "more," but Bride put a stop to it and rekonciled with Kiefer. "You asked me not to call," says Dr. Phil. "And I haven't." Aw! Poor Dr. Phil. Can you imagine finally hearing from someone you're totally pining over, and it's because she has amnesia and doesn't remember dumping your ass? Anyway, Dr. Phil wants Bride to go to a hospital and get checked out. Bride freaks out at the thought of going to a hospital -- no surprise considering that she's been to two hospitals "today" and they haven't been positive experiences. Dr. Phil offers to "examine" her there in the restaurant. You know as soon as Dr. Phil arrived on the scene last week, I've been trying to restrain myself from using an "examination" joke, but they're just handing it to me.
Palmer suite. Ferragamo's dead, but his stupid subplot lives on. Lady MacPalmer, Palmer, and Poor Man's Hume Cronyn meet privately and listen to Theo's tape. Palmer is psyched that they have proof of Kreepy Karl's involvement in Ferragamo's death and his intention to frame Theo. PMHC reminds Palmer that since the tape was made without a preliminary court order or Kreepy Karl's knowledge, it can't be admitted as evidence. Hello? Why isn't Linda Tripp in jail? Palmer points out that they could leak the tape to the media. Lady Mac isn't having any of it; she wants the tape destroyed lest it bring down the "Democratic Party." Yes, folks. It's official. Palmer is a Democrat. Palmer argues that telling the truth isn't "self-destructive." PMHC rules that they should "shelve" it. Palmer might need the tape as currency later when he gets to the White House. "You'll have evidence against some of the most powerful men in the country," argues PMHC. "They won't be able to kontrol you!" Palmer and Lady Mac put that in their pipes and smoke it. Hey, what is up with that scar or whatever on Palmer's face that makes him look like he's got a tear streaming down his cheek?