Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Be Careful What You Wish For
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.02.1999
Over at the Ice House, Pacey and Joey "Grace Adler" Potter are going over the plans for Dawson's surprise party that night, at the No-Fault Hacienda. Joey is worried that the party won't be that great. Pacey tells her it will, and that "from now on, the Leery house will be known as the Delta House of Capeside." Joey adds that she doesn't know why she's so nervous, and starts chit-chatting about parties, only to stop dead when Jack "Fierstein" McPhee enters the room. Jack registers her discomfort, looks behind him at Pacey -- who smiles -- then moves off without speaking. Poor Jack. Pacey says, "Listen, Joey, not to pry or anything, but how are you doing with the whole Jack thing? I mean, now that you've had some time to process." Joey rolls her eyes and says, "God, everyone keeps asking me that in these solemn tones, like I've just come down with a terminal disease or something. Pacey, the fact is, Jack is the one who's going through something. Yeah, I admit, at first, it was obviously a shock, but, look, I'm fine. Really." She walks away. Um, yeah, that was convincing. Not.
Outside -- which somehow manages to look somewhat cold -- Jack is putting condiments out on tables. A sing-songy voice calls out Jack's name, and of course it is Abby "Kid Instigator" Morgan, with two never-before-seen confederates -- whom I'll call Grizelda and Anastasia -- actually walking a pace behind her. Abby's hair is done up in an indescribable configuration of ponytails that makes her look like a Manga escapee, and her companions are equally fashion victimized. Abby asks if they're serving lunch yet. Jack says they will be shortly and gives them some menus. Grizelda then asks Jack, "Aren't you that guy?...Yeah, the first guy to ever come out at Capeside?" She turns to Anastasia and explains, "He was the one who wrote the poem." "In the flesh," Abby confirms. Anastasia says, "Oh my God, you're the gay guy!" Abby introduces them to "Jack McPhee, Capeside's no-longer-ambiguous resident." Jack smiles uncomfortably. Grizelda says, "You know, I think it's so great that you came out and you're only sixteen. You know, I totally watched Ellen through that whole tumultuous year, and, well, she didn't even come out until she was, like, forty." Jack tries to change the subject by taking their drink orders, to no avail. Anastasia says, "You know I just realized? You are the first actual gay person I've ever met." Abby adds, "It is such a waste, actually, because you are a total babe." Jack says, "Yeah, well, I'd take that as a compliment if it weren't coming from Satan." Ooh, that's gonna leave a mark. And thank God someone on this show remembers that he hates Abby. Abby jumps up from the table as fast as her stumpy legs will allow and follows him, exclaiming, "Jack! You have got me all wrong; I am not even one of his helpers!" Ha ha, not. Jack says, "Yeah, well then I guess I better congratulate you on that clever disguise you've been wearing for the past couple of months." Abby says, "We got started off on the wrong foot. True, I may have been flawed [sic] in the past, but sometimes people can surprise you! I mean, you should know a little bit about that yourself." Jack evidently has no response to that, other than to glare at her disgustedly and walk off. Abby smiles diabolically. Glark says, "What, is she going to 'turn' him?"