Episode Report Card Wing Chun: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Be Careful What You Wish For
By Wing Chun | Season 2 | Episode 16 | Aired on 03.02.1999
Inside the house, Abby struts predatorily toward Jack, making some idle chat about Dawson's being late for his own party. Jack, clearly intent on other subjects, asks: "Do you really think it's true what you said earlier, about everyone having bisexual inclinations?" Abby says, "Oh, absolutely!" and leads the way to Dawson's room, where she continues, "You know, the Dawsons and Joeys of this world are mature in other ways, but with all the time they spend contemplating their navels, you'd think they'd be a little more open to the possibilities." Jack hikes up his shirt and regards his navel, commenting, "Yeah, you know you're right. There's a whole world of possibilities in here." "In here too," Abby giggles, doing likewise with her shirt and navel, and then sitting on Dawson's bed. Jack says, "Maybe you're not Satan after all. Of course, I don't think Satan has a belly button." Ha ha, not. Abby coos, "Well, us outcasts have to learn to stick together." They gaze at each other. Oh, poor Joey.
Elsewhere, poor Joey descends a staircase with a bowl as Dawson staggers into the house yelling, "Surprise!" Andie follows closely behind, also staggering and yelling. As they head into the crowd, Joey leans into Pacey and mutters, "You're late. This party is a total disaster." Pacey replies, "I know. Don't get me started." Joey asks, "Are they...?" Pacey says, "Yes. They are. Rum and Cokes. They got past me." As if to demonstrate precisely why underage drinking is a horrific problem, Dawson and Andie jump up on the dining room table and start sort of dancing in a singularly appalling display of gracelessness. Joey and Pacey very thoughtfully get them down, and Joey leads Dawson upstairs -- before his parents see him -- with a cup of coffee, telling him that it probably won't do any good. Dawson croons, "I got the blues, Joe. Do you know anything about the blues?" A very irritated Joey answers, "More than I care to." She pushes open the door to Dawson's room and sees Jack making out with Abby. She looks stricken and drops Dawson, who bursts out laughing uproariously. Abby smiles kittenishly. Dawson breaks into his blues riff and, despite my emphatic advice, decides to add another verse to his opus: "The guy I was talking about / Who said he was gay / He got a new hairdo and he decided to swing both ways!" At this he falls down on the bed. Abby laughs, and Jack and Joey stare at each other in shock. Jack says, "Joey," and starts to get up. Joey says, "I can't deal with this," and takes off back down the stairs. Jack runs after her but stops on the landing, where Grizelda and Anastasia are parked, waiting for Abby's return. As Jack stares, presumably, after Joey's departing figure, Abby joins her comrades, purring, "Not so gay anymore." Before making his dramatic exit, Jack says, "I'm more gay than ever." You go, boy!