Episode Report Card Sars: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Dance
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 01.26.1998
While Dawson wrestles with his Muppet mane, Joey goes downstairs. She sort of spies on Mitch and Gail canoodling by the butcher block; Gail says she "might be late." They kiss nauseatingly. Joey goes to sit on the stairs, and as Gail bustles past in a suit with a skirt shorter than Ally McBeal's, she says, "Goodnight, Mrs. Leery," and scares the bejesus out of Gail for the second time. Gail, whose hair actually looks pretty sleek in this scene, says, "Joey, you scared me," then checks her watch and says, "Look, we need to talk." Joey asks Gail if she remembers Joey's mom, and Gail interrupts, "I just want to clear up this morning," but Joey cuts her off in a steely tone: "My mom was the best. She was an incredible woman. My dad, however, didn't always see that. He cheated on her for as long as I can remember and it tore her apart, crippling their relationship and nearly destroying the entire family." Gail asks why Joey is telling her this, and Joey says, "Because your actions affect others. They bleed into the lives of those around you, and --" Gail interrupts to say Joey doesn't understand, but Joey won't hear it: "No, you don't understand. My mom got cancer and died, so you do the math. You know your, your reasons for you doing what you're doing, they can't possibly outweigh the everlasting damage that you're creating." Gail starts to tell Joey to mind her own business, but something in Joey's face stops her, and instead she says brightly, "Does Dawson know?" From upstairs Dawson says, "Know what?" The women exchange a look as Dawson appears next to Joey, and Joey says quickly to Dawson, "How to dance. I told her we were going." Dawson says he knows how to dance and Joey murmurs in an attempt at her customary sarcasm, "Yeah, right." Dawson kisses his mom goodbye and Joey follows him out the door, saying, "Have fun tonight, Mrs. Leery," with a reproachful look over her shoulder.
Fade up on the Capeside High gymnasium, typically over-decorated for the dance with an Under The Sea-ish theme, with a suspiciously ethnically-correct crowd boogying down. Cliff, attired in a hopelessly Gap blue button-down shirt (which, strangely, matches the balloons) and jeans, and Jen, wearing a too-short dress fashioned from netting (don't ask), make chit-chat. Jen has curled her hair, and it looks quite pretty, actually, but she still walks like a Peterbilt. Cliff "victory dance" blah blah blah Jen "did you make the winning play" blah blah blah Cliff "you're here, aren't you?" blah blah blah Jen "ha ha," Sars "like, 'ha ha,' not" blah blah blah fishcakes. Jen asks Cliff, "Is there anything that you're not good at?" I'd venture to say "pick-up lines," but what do I know. Cliff says he sucks at dancing and describes himself as "rhythmically challenged." Jen challenges him to prove it, and much though I would love to give you an account of their moves on the dance floor, I regret to say that I cannot type and throw up at the same time.