Episode Report Card Daniel: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Ain’t No Cure For Love (But There Is A Cure For Salmonella)
By Daniel | Season 9 | Episode 9 | Aired on 08.15.2011
But in Red, the orders are being held up by Jamie on garnish, who has turned into a zombie. A zucchini-burning zombie. "Get it together!" Ramsay orders her, and she seems to do just that.
In Blue, Paul serves up some undercooked chicken, and he makes everyone gather round to revel in the rawness. "Romantic dinner!" snaps Ramsay, although if I'm looking for a romantic dinner, a place where cameras are going to be filming us while an angry Brit yells at sweaty reality show contestants is not going to be very high on the list in the first place. Paul gets the boot: "Pink carnations, maybe. Pink chicken, no chance," says Ramsay. Heh! Ramsay sends Tommy after a door-kicking Paul so Paul can eat the raw chicken.
In Red Kitchen, Ramsay needs to explain -- as patiently as you can imagine him doing -- to Elise that no, the vegetarian capellini ought not to have lobster in it. She manages to spin this to herself as Ramsay being mad at her because he expects more out of her than he expects of anyone else. At least she's pissed off at herself instead of blaming others. Tommy delivers, somewhat apologetically, the chicken to Paul and then races back to the kitchen to find Ramsay cooking the food for him, and Ramsay makes Tommy yell at him that he's ready to take things back over. Is it me or does it seem like every talking head with Tommy in each episode was done in one shot? Head tilted to the side, eyes bugging out? He looks EXACTLY the same every time.
Elise delivers some overcooked oysters to Ramsay and he boots her. With the oysters. "Nice romantic plate of oysters for our little superstar. Bon appetit, princess!" he says as she leaves.
After a commercial break, the three remaining Red Kitcheners work to send out the final entrees, and Blue Kitchen has improved. "I just took Chef Ramsay's challenge to step up and I did it," says Natalie. I love the way reality show contestants always talking about "stepping up," like you just decide to step up. I decided to increase my stepping-up by fifty percent, and it really paid off for me.
And then some guy in the dining room proposes to his girlfriend via drizzled chocolate on their dessert, and she says yes, and he slips a ring on her finger with trembling hands and everyone smiles. Even Will is all, "I'm gonna fucking cry." I think Will could make for an excellent line of Hallmark wedding congratulations cries. "Fuckin'-A to the happy couple!" Everyone in the kitchen and dining room applauds.