Episode Report Card Daniel: B- | 1 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Ain’t No Cure For Love (But There Is A Cure For Salmonella)
By Daniel | Season 9 | Episode 9 | Aired on 08.15.2011
Elizabeth has a ricotta strawberry Napoleon that gets two stars from Jordan, one from Waylnnn, and Natalie's chocolate espresso bread pudding gets one from Jordan, two from Waylynn. Carrie brings up a blondie with butterscotch chips. "It's not sexy sexy, but maybe it'll be sexy in your mouth," she says, undercutting herself before they even try it, and Ramsay covers his face in shame. The judges give it one star apiece, panning it for being bland -- just one component. Carrie walks back to her team and gets some abuse from Elise. "I love my team. They love me so much," she says.
So with the score 11 to 8, Will only needs four points to seal the win. He brings up a plate of -- I don't know what it is. Beige pears in beige cream with salt and pepper? It's not pretty, and Waylynn uses the word "rancid," so he only gets a star apiece. He's sanguine about it with us, acknowledging they're the experts. Then he points out that Babe Ruth doesn't hit a homerun every night, so at least he's got some perspective on his own talent.
Still, Blue Team now has a five-point lead with just Jennifer's banana splatter left. There's some chocolate and bourbon in it, and Jennifer immediately earns praise for putting some thought into her presentation. She gets three stars from Waylynn, and then...
...commercial break...
...three stars from Jordan, who calls it the best dessert so far. Red Team wins, but there's still the matter of Elise's rejected coronary in a glass with berries. She brings it up, and Ramsay mocks the size of it, and apparently the berries are in liqueur and ... vinegar? Ramsay pours it out and calls it a disaster and says Red Team made the right decision in rejecting it, since they would have had to award zero points. This puts a smile on Carrie's face.
But the best is yet to come for the team, because the prize is a trip to Las Vegas, where they'll stay in a villa in Caesar's Palace (pager-friendly?) with five bedrooms and butlers at their disposal. As for Blue Team, they have to prepare the dining room for Date Night, which is a first-time theme for Hell's Kitchen, or something. Like the theme ever means anything ever, except for a slight modification to the things Ramsay screams at the chefs while they cook.
Will feels bad for letting his team down. Paul feels bad that Will let his team done. Will is scrubbing oysters in punishment.
The Red Team jets off (well, Southwest Airlines off) to Vegas and -- well, holy shit if that villa is not, as Jamie calls it, "the sickest thing I've ever seen." There is a billiard room, a grand piano, an indoor pool. There is a naked woman on a table with dessert on her. (You know, the Carrie special!). I start A) planning my next trip to Vegas and B) calling my credit card company to increase my limit. "The suite is big enough for me to not even know that Carrie exists tonight," says Elise. It's almost big enough to hold Elise's ego! The women toast Jennifer for earning the victory. Then the doorbell rings, and the visitor, who we'll see after the break, starts the women screaming.