Episode Report Card Aaron: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Our Bodies, Ourselves
By Aaron | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 03.15.2003
Over at the Big Bush Palace (which is confusingly located in the Not In My Driveway Estates), Lisa carries a yummy-looking chocolate cake into a bedroom where Carol is ensconced in an amazingly architecturally impressive pillow fort. Seriously, people. That thing looks like it was designed by Daniel Libeskind. Carol, it seems, has had a nasty run-in with Kate Hudson (one wonders if there's any other kind), who failed to demonstrate any of the respect Carol has so rightly earned through her years of working with industry heavyweights like "Stallone, Ellen Barkin, [and] Melanie fucking Griffith." Heh. As a result, she "just needs to have [her] cake in a safe, white place today." And see, here's my problem with the whole Carol character. Catherine O'Hara is great, and I'm sure each and every one of these insanities she's exhibited has been experienced in real life by a Six Feet Under staffer, but you just can't cram every single neurosis in Hollywood into a single character without getting someone who comes off like a cartoon Woody Allen on a ten-day Zoloft binge. Whatever happened to the days of subtle, nuanced characterization on this show, like when Brenda fucked those two guys, or when Keith got really angry that one time? After making sure that Carol has her "cake towel," and promising to deliver the much-anticipated "poopy shake" later in the day, Lisa tries to beat a hasty retreat. Carol, however, has to complain yet again about Nate parking in the driveway, although we actually do get a nice bit of subtlety here, with Lisa mentioning that he's been getting home really late recently. That'll be important later.
Back at the Fortress, JP is showing off his tattoos to Ruth when Claire comes downstairs for breakfast. Mom is just about as impressed with The Giant Bird Of Next Time Try Viagra as I am, but the look of alarm on Claire's face when she sees them together makes it all worthwhile. Ruth, however, is actually acting pretty blasé about the whole thing, and even goes so far as to ask the kids for dating tips on when she should call Kathy to set up another outing. "Wait," suggests JP. "It's really bad to be, like, begging for it." Ahh. So maybe that's why Lauren never returns my calls. Then again, I've found my various attempts at maintaining an alluring aloofness are often greeted with a response somewhere along the lines of, "I'm sorry, who are you again?" Ruth internalizes this little bit of advice with all the irony you might expect, and then leaves the youngsters alone to discuss their plans for the evening. Claire wants to see A Clockwork Orange, which Russell (who is becoming more and more a surrogate version of me everyday) claims is "mandatory viewing for all humans." JP and Ashes To Ashes, however, have a gig lined up at the Korova Milkbar, and he doesn't think Claire would enjoy watching because he has some "other friends" coming she might not want to meet. Schmuck. They agree to hang out Friday night instead, but I truly don't understand how any man alive could ever turn down a night of Kubrick and Claire. That just doesn't make any sense.