Episode Report Card Aaron: C | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Our Bodies, Ourselves
By Aaron | Season 3 | Episode 3 | Aired on 03.15.2003
Down in Ye Olde Body Shoppe, Rico is working on the DGDJ (StC = 1,387). Nate comes in, and they banter a bit about work-related business before Nate wonders aloud if Callie might have panicked a bit more than necessary when the guys were chasing her. "I don't know," says Rico. "Vanessa gets scared all the time. Even when she's out with the kids she gets it. Ask Lisa." Nate doesn't think that sort of thing happens to Lisa very often, which then leads into a highly awkward conversation about whether she's hot or not. And since that sort of thing is really more Alex Richmond's area than my own, I'm just not going to comment either way. I will say, however, that I got through this entire scene without saying "Shut up, Rico" even once. Aww. Remember when we all loved this guy? Yeah. Those were some good times. Rico assures Nate that some turbulence is perfectly normal for the first year of marriage. Then they get into a screaming cat-fight about whose hair is worse this season, and both end up bloodied and unconscious with no resolution in sight.
We cut to a photo of Carol with Bill and Hillary Clinton, and then pan over to see Carol herself, seated on the divan reading scripts. Like all crazy Hollywood producers, she starts each one on the last page. Heh. Lisa comes in (with a stroller-bound Maya The Leviathan in tow), and immediately starts cleaning up the disgusting chocolate and white linen remnants of the morning's cake-fest. She also delivers Carol's "poopy shake," which was late due to a lack of psyllium. Interestingly enough, Googled euphemisms for diarrhea include: bum gravy, anal hot chocolate, the Schlitz, ass puking, the chunky sputters (which is totally the name of my next band), fecal burps, and the Nestle's splat. Lisa tries to be all business, but Carol is clearly at the extreme depressive end of a manic-depressive mood swing, and soon enough the neuroses are flying like so much "percolating butt coffee." "When I hired you for this job," she screeches, "you were totally unencumbered, and now there's Nate and his dirty car, and…[Maya], and her needs!" Hee! "Dirty car." Now THAT'S funny. Carol rants and raves some more about how Lisa is totally insensitive to her emotional needs and blah blah get-this-woman-some-Xanax-cakes. "If I'd known you were hiring me to be your fucking wet nurse," screams Lisa, "I would have asked for health insurance!" And with that she stomps out the door, and presumably out of Carol's life forever.