Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 55 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Day For Night
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 02.25.2014
COURT
Travis: "Hanna, do you guys just not go to school anymore? How are you here?"
Hanna: "I was worried about you! Plus you and Gabe were both here."
Travis: "Holbrook? Yeah, he stood up for my dad pretty hardcore. No jailtime."
Hanna: "That's so great! I am going to just run over and make out with Gabriel Holbrook, a full-on adult. Call you later."
Homegirl even brought a briefcase and has been wearing a neon pink business jacket all day long, like just in case somebody needed co-counsel today. If this is the new Hanna, let me just say I am IN. Maybe she can think she's all kinds of professions. We already did Detective Hanna and Life Coach Hanna and Fashion Prodigy Hanna, but what about Hardhat Hanna, Astronaut Hanna, Circus Strongman Hanna, Racially Insensitive Indian Chief Hanna? Bring it.
HASTINGS
Spencer finds, in the random shit she snagged from Ezra's apartment, a card for Marc Pope, on which Fitz has scrawled, "PI who followed Spencer?" Somebody needs to introduce Ezra to Evernote or something, this is ridic. Anyway, she calls them and gets the voicemail and then has some kind of a drug-related meltdown on her bed for a sec before she decides to say fuck it and gobble some of A's poison pills.
Rock bottom: You have located it. Act normal, bitch! Don't take shit from A! I mean maybe I would eat a dozen little-piggy cupcakes from A in front of a high school football team, but that's only because it's like, every sexual fantasy I've ever had at once. And even then I would be like 60/40 ready to barf if I started feeling poisoned. Which is I guess why we linger on Spencer's strung-out ass being like, "...Nnnnope, that's the stuff. The sweet, sweet stuff. Not poison at all. Thanks for helpin' a sister out, A. You're not so shabby after all."
1ST BANK OF LASAGNA (FDIC)
Paige jumps up Emily's ass about how she lied -- thereby proving that Emily was right to lie -- and cuts to the chase: How is this related to A. Which is so funny because literally this is the one time it's not actually something A is making her do, but not-so-funny because Emily has to keep lying and lying. Finally Paige snatches that shit out of her hands, because Paige is really into respecting people's boundaries so very much of the time, and then yells at Emily for letting A control her. Since clearly that's Paige's job.