Episode Report Card Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Ally and Victor Bite the Dust
By Alex Richmond | Season 5 | Episode 18 | Aired on 04.28.2002
The Bar. Vonda sings "always and foreevaaaah." Yes. Always and forever, this show does suck. Every day. In its own special way. Richard does a shot of tequila and sits down with Miss Bump, Ray, Elaine, and Corretta. Was Richard working late, wonders Miss Bump? With Dame Edna feeding him lines, Richard explains that he was working on his book, The Lost Art of Conversation. Miss Bump poses and replies, "Are people conversing less, or less artfully?" We have banter. They continue in this vein, until Dame Edna feeds Richard the line of "wanting to poke your embers" with something or other. Miss Bump says that if she she wants to sleep with a man, she'll just suggest that they go somewhere and "do it." Dame Edna gasps, "Goodness, what a slut!" Richard parrots the remark. Only three more episodes to go. Miss Bump takes Richard's hand and says that maybe they "should just do it once, satisfy [their] curiosity, and move on?" Richard stammers. Ew, they're going to do it.
Ally and Victor are still talking. Just break up already, will you? Victor explains that he and Vanessa Williams had "a purely physical relationship" and that he'd rather the breakup be "angry," since "anger is easier to get over than heartbreak." A thousand times, whatever. Ally gets lost in a reverie and says, "That's why he wanted me to do it. He wanted me to hate him." She means Larry. JBJ looks so not thrilled with the change of subject.
Ally sits on her couch, despondent. Maddie comes downstairs. She's dyed her hair! She looks taller, too. Wow, she's growing up so quickly! She notes JBJ's absence. "They don't tend to come back, with me," says Ally. Ally? You are warping your daughter. Cut it out.
Miss Bump's pad. It's very kitschy. I like the '60s lamps and furniture, but not the Christina Aguilera poster. The Never Been Kissed poster is okay. She puts on some music and grabs Richard's crotch. If she "extinguishes [his] curiosity, will [he] see [her] as a lawyer?" He'll try. They head off to the bedroom.
So, the blackmail case is dropped -- did we all get that it was the image of the girl fucking the cow that made them drop it? We do? Good. The President of Vice calls them "the scummiest, most disgusting lawyers" ever. Nelle and Wilson beam hugely. He adds, "They set the bar so low! And you just slithered right under it!" Yeah, they love their work. Nelle and Wilson? You can go do it now.
Miss Bump's bedroom is also '60s and mod. She puts on "Dancing Queen." Dig it. She has a diving board over her round bed, so she can "dive right in." And she really does dive; she "used to compete." What does Richard want to do first? Richard stammers that he wants to see her shower. She trots off, and he scampers after her.