Episode Report Card Sara M: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Another Episode About Dead Soldiers
By Sara M | Season 9 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.24.2004
Martin's playing pool with The Moons of Jupiter, who's giving him advice about how to deal with getting teased by veteran cops. For example, Alpha Centauri remembers how back in the thirties, it was popular to stick a match an unsuspecting rookie's shoe, and then light it and laugh when the rookie danced and screamed because his foot was on fire. Sometimes Saturn doesn't remember that, though, because the memory tend to go at her age. When she notices that it's getting late, and Martin says he should be getting home. Halley's Comet -- you know what? Venus is a stupid name, and I'm already running out of Milky Way-related things to call her. So I'm just going to call her "Martha," because that is the actress's name and she looks like she was born back when the name "Martha" was popular. Anyway, Martha asks Martin drive her home, but she asks the way Lucy "asks" for things, which means she's not really asking at all; she's demanding. "Can you handle it?" she adds, like driving her home is some kind of Xtreme Sport. Martin says he can handle "it," and tells Mac to get another ride home, suggesting one of the cop buddies as a ride source. Martin and Martha leave, and Mac turns to ask the cop buddies for a ride. But they're gone. And Mac can't call his parents for a ride, because they're divorced.
RevCam enters Ruthie's bedroom (without knocking) and says he's glad she's still up. Ruthie asks if he needs anything. Ew. Fortunately, all RevCam needs tonight is Martin's cell phone number, which Ruthie doesn't have. "Why don't you just snoop around his room and get it yourself? That's what I would do," Ruthie suggests, of course. "I'm not gonna snoop around his room looking for a phone number," RevCam says. Ruthie gives him an "uh huh" stare until he admits that he already invaded Martin's room, but the phone number wasn't there. That's probably because most people who aren't stupid like the Camdens don't usually need to write their OWN PHONE NUMBER down. RevCam asks if Ruthie has Mac's phone number, and Ruthie says that Mac is too old for her, "remember?" I remember. I'll never forget. And it's killing me inside. Suddenly, Ruthie remembers that Martin mentioned going to the pool hall tonight. RevCam takes off, and Ruthie goes back to her reading. And we stay on that thrilling shot for about five minutes.
Martha and Martin enter Martha's house. She thanks him for walking her to the house, and he tries to leave. Martha asks if he wants a drink, but Martin says he doesn't drink. Martha offers coffee, but Martin doesn't like the taste of coffee. Martha offers soda, then juice, then water, desperate to find a beverage choice that will make a man stay at her house. Martha says she wants to "do something" to pay Martin back for being so nice to her. Martin says he can stick around for "a minute," and Martha leaves to make some tea, saying that "rookie cops are all alike." Martin's brow knits. Although perhaps "weaves -- on one of those big-ass looms" is a more fitting description when it comes to the shag carpeting currently residing above Martin's eyes.