Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 2 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Say goodbye to reality, Uncle Arvin.
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.19.2005
Sloane attempts to reason with Jack, telling him the whole scenario doesn't make sense. "Even if I did succeed in undermining your relationship with Sydney -- which, given our agreement, runs counter to my self-interest -- even then, with all the people in Sydney's life -- Vaughn, Nadia, anyone, do you really believe she would turn to me?" Jack slowly lowers the gun. "Jack, I didn't do this," says Sloane. "Someone is setting me up." The Horns of Yeah, I'll Buy That Right After I Purchase the Brooklyn Bridge blare across the soundtrack.
Torture Chamber of Wayward Professors. Sinclair's asking who Sloane Clone is. "All will be answered in due time," nasals the Mayor of Munchkinland. Seriously. That's who Joel Grey reminds me of. Only creepier. And with less funny pants. Sloane Clone opens up a big book of Rambaldi drawings and declares that he and Sinclair need to work together. He says that he was with the Army Corps of Engineers years ago and he was tasked with studying a manuscript. The pages in the book were written over five hundred years ago by a genius who anticipated scientific principles centuries ahead of his time. That genius? Is Milo Rambaldi. Sloane Clone doesn't say that, but for those of us who've been watching this show since the beginning, we recognize the distinctive handwriting on the parchment.
"You're insane," Sinclair wisely observes. Yes. Yes, he is, Frau Doktor. Sloane Clone disagrees and says that not only is he not insane, but prototypes of Rambaldi's designs have already been built. Sloane Clone's been collecting the various Rambaldi items for the past thirty-five years, just like the real Sloane. Sinclair doesn't really give a damn and still has no idea what this has to do with her. Sloane Clone needs her expertise. On what, we don't really know. "You want me to build a 500-year-old machine?" she incredulously asks. No one responds. She's like, uh, yeah. Okay. Listen up, Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, these drawings have no basis in physical reality. You're the Grand Master of La-La-Land, Mister Jeeves. Trust me on this. Sloane Clone just whispers something about how, once she sees, she will believe. Sinclair makes a mental note to start talking in tongues and foaming at the mouth so Sloane Clone will think he's met a kindred spirit. "And what if I don't cooperate?" she grits. The door opens and some guy wheels a cart in. On the cart is a smaller version of Clifford the Big Red Ball from the closing episode of Season One. It's spinning and humming and spinning and humming and why this is supposed to scare Sinclair, I don't really know, because, like, Clifford is only scary when he's bigger than an airplane hangar and filled with a liquid virus. "You will," is all Sloane Clone will say.