Episode Report Card Erin: A+ | 2 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Say goodbye to reality, Uncle Arvin.
By Erin | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.19.2005
Nadia's just outside, heading toward the door, when Sloane says, "You fool." "He told me…" says Bad Baldy. "He told me I could live forev--" "NOOOOOOOOOO!" screams Sloane, bringing the Clifford base over his head and down on Bad Baldy's face. Oh, lord. Nadia moves closer. "Is that what think this is all about? Immortality?" says Sloane, gearing up for a total meltdown. "You bought a rumor, you simple-minded DILETTANTE!" Aaaand WHAM! He hits Baldy again. Nadia is taking her own sweet time getting there, dammit. There are no closed captions here, by the way, so if I get this slightly wrong, I apologize. "A mystery," continues Sloane, circling his prey. "The true secrets of his creations will always be held back from you…THE UNWORTHY!" He growls that last part as he brings the base down yet again on Baldy's head. And again. And again. And blood spatters up onto his face. And a wham! And another wham! And more blood and oh my god, he's thrown a nutter.
Nadia finally enters and sees Clifford. "Nadia," says her father. She turns and sees Sloane, calmly walking toward her with a smile on his face. A smile almost drowning under the big streaks of BLOOD. She looks down and sees Baldy, dead on the floor. "It's all over," says Sloane, acting for all the world like he didn't just beat a man to death. "It's all over, honey." Oh, it certainly is, General Gaga. You should run a special on those insanity crackers of yours because, dude? You've got enough to last you till the end of time. Nadia looks at her father, her heart visibly breaking. Sloane just looks at his daughter as if she's made of cotton candy and he's just dying to feed his sweet tooth.
Is it wrong that I love it when Uncle Arvin turns into Sergeant Major Ooogedy-Boogedy?
Next on Alias: Jack sprouts horns and a tail and a wicked case of radioactive eczema. And Victor Garber brings home the Emmy.