Episode Report Card Sars: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Family Way
By Sars | Season 4 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.31.2000
Cut to Gretchen and her boobs in a seventies-macramé-plant-holder-inspired brown-and-orange halter top, inspecting Dawson's latest photos and telling him that "that old man is crazy," his photos are great, blah blah blah praise-the-wunderkind-cakes. "Actually, he's right, they suck," Dawson grouses, fiddling with the telephoto lens that acts as a surrogate for his tiny, cobweb-enshrouded penis. Snapping shots of Gretchen, Dawson blathers something about how "true genius begins in mediocrity," as if he'd even attained the lofty peaks of mediocrity yet. Gretchen tells him that, while she finds modesty "preferable" to a "self-described genius" act, "even you cannot deny your abilities." No wonder Gretchen dropped out of college -- she's too dense to recognize Dawson's so-called modesty as a gambit to attract compliments. Then she tells him to stop taking her picture or she'll smack him. Skip the rationalizing and smack him anyway, Gretch. Dawson asks if he's making her uncomfortable. When she says yes, he says, "Good," and keeps snapping away. "Stop it!" she squawks, but she clearly loves it. Yuck. They sit down on a bench, and Dawson tells her that Gale's pregnant. When Gretchen nods distractedly, Dawson takes another picture of her, and Gretchen smiles uncomfortably that she "figured." Dawson says that maybe she can help him -- insert "beyond help" joke here -- and admits that, when he found out, "[he] was upset." Gretchen asks why, and Dawson says that "they're in their forties, they're about to send a kid to college, they barely have any money in the bank," the divorce, the last couple of years, blah bling blah, "it just seems...completely irresponsible." Gretchen nods, "It is." All right -- do I need to list the reasons why Dawson's "reasoning" is utterly selfish and judgmental, or why Gretchen shouldn't encourage him? No, I didn't think so.
Dawson says that he knows shouldn't feel that way, and doesn't want to, and he wonders if Gretchen knows how he could "swing that." Gretchen doesn't, but she does wonder how Gale feels, since Gale's the one "with the baby growing inside of her," the one with the financial worries, the one with the recently-renewed marriage vows. Gretchen implies, but does not say, that Dawson does not have any of this going on and thus should quit making it all about him and shut the hell up. But I will go ahead and say it for her. Quit making it all about you and shut the hell up, Dawson. Dawson says he knew Gretchen "[was] the right person to talk to," and he's starting to feel bad already. As well he should. Gretchen abruptly gets up, saying she has to go, "break's over." A somewhat puzzled Dawson watches her go, then sulks some more.