Episode Report Card Cate: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT I Love Lucy
By Cate | Season 7 | Episode 15 | Aired on 02.09.2003
When Max finally pulls up in front of the hotel, Lucy stares at it in awe. "Pretty swanky," she says. I love the word "swanky," but I didn't realize that there are people who actually use it in a non-mocking fashion. I suppose it's a step up from "classy." Max leads Lucy inside, and when she goes to the ladies' room, he calls up Kevin (I assume) to share the news of Lucy's visit to the ladies' room. Max seems happy. I can only presume it's because his Lucy ordeal is almost over.
Bad television shows are often filled with unlikely coincidences, and this one is no exception. There are Roxanne and RevBong walking into the hotel now. And sure enough, Roxanne is about to join Lucy in the ladies' room. The two spy each other in the mirror and scream. It's about as entertaining as it sounds. When Max enters the ladies' room to see if everything's okay, Lucy tells him that this woman is the "sex kitten" she was talking about earlier. Max points out that what Lucy is talking about was a dream, "just a stupid dream." Nevertheless, Lucy chooses to accuse Roxanne of trying to steal the T-1000 from her. Sometimes I have to wonder what Beverley Mitchell ever did to Brenda Hampton to warrant receiving such dreadful storylines and dialogue. Roxanne tells Lucy that she's expecting Chandler to propose tonight, and threatens Lucy with a lack of forgiveness if she should do anything to ruin the proposal. Ooh! That must have her quaking in her boots.
As he's bringing her to Kevin, Max is forced to endure yet another tirade from Lucy about how tragic it is that Roxanne will get married before she does. I'm jealous. At least his exposure to Lucy is almost over. I'll bet he feels like I will when I get close to the end of this recap. Max stops outside the door of a party room. From inside, we hear someone singing a song which the closed captioning assures me is called "Isn't It Romantic?" Lucy claims to recognize that it's being sung by "jazz legend Bobby Short," who, I am told by a reliable source, is "weird-looking and annoying." Oh, and a nincompoop like Lucy might recognize a jazz legend's voice when hell freezes over. Max doesn't say anything. He just opens the door for her and gives silent thanks to the Lord that she is someone else's problem now.
As Lucy walks down a curved stairway into the party room, Bobby Short lip-synchs in the background and Kevin gazes up at her. For once, he's not sporting his usual doofy smile; in fact, he's looking like he just caught a whiff of something extremely unpleasant. I'm tempted to say it's the script for this episode. Case in point: Kevin has invited all the available Camdens, plus Ben and his mother, along on this very special VD date. To answer Bobby Short's question, it really isn't very romantic at all. Especially not when the T-1000 gets down on his knee and opens up a jeweler's box to show off a huge diamond. He says, "Lucy Camden, will you marry me?" Lucy replies, "Yes, Kevin Kinkirk, I will marry you." What's with the full names? I don't see anyone else named Lucy or Kevin in the vicinity. Bobby starts warbling away again, and everyone starts to dance. Everyone except Ben, who's guzzling champagne like it's going out of style. Hey, don't be too hard on him. I know I want to drink myself into a stupor just because I'm watching this crap on TV. I can't imagine how awful it would be to have to witness it in person -- especially when Lucy keeps staring lovingly at her big rock. It's kind of funny when she mistakes Ma Kinkirk for Ben's date, though.