Episode Report Card Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Everybody Must Get Stoned
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 3 | Aired on 03.30.2000
Elsewhere in the catacombs, Crichton is being followed. The Stoners freak up behind him, tilting their dumb heads this way and that until he turns around and confronts them. Or something. "Hey guy, we didn't meet earlier," Crichton says sociably to the Stoner resting his head against a wall. "It's too late," the Stoner moans. Molnon turns back to watch them. Crichton tries to understand what he's on about. "The Lost People know," the Stoner complains. Molnon recalls the Stoner, telling him, "Das. Time to jump, garda." Okay, so his name is "Das," but "garda" is like a pet name or something. Like "kid" or "mate" or "man." It's probably more the last one, because I think "garda" is only used with men in this episode and "nixar" with women. In slo-mo, Das walks around Crichton, who follows him out to a pit where all the other Stoners, including Chiana, have gathered. The storm is still flashing. Ignoring the Stoners, Crichton walks out on an outcropping and looks down into the deep pit. It's fairly dead and stony, nothing Saarlac about it. Aeryn joins him and they both look up at the sky through the tower ceiling over them. It is so tiresome to recap this clotty Stoner dialogue. Crouching around and jumping from leg to leg like he forgot to use the bathroom one last time before getting on the road, Molnon explains, "New narl emerges. Clans gather. It's time to celebrate!" A female Stoner with lilac-hued dreds looks down at the baby in her arms. So "narl" means "baby"? Molnon hisses suddenly and flings his arms over his head. Elbows slightly bent, hands above his head, almost touching at the wrist, like he's pretending to be Peter Cotton-Tail hopping down the Bunny Trail. The squatting adds to the illusion. Molnon tells some drug-fueled story about the Royals digging tombs and filling the surface and then leaving them behind. "But we LIVE!" Molnon points out, rather needlessly in my opinion. Mouth agape enough to make her lose IQ points, Chiana gazes at him addlepatedly. Molnon hisses again, and vogues the Peter Cotton-Tail again. Other Stoners follow suit. "We take The Stone," Molnon whispers. A Stoner walks forward dazedly and purposefully falls off the ledge. A hum of voices starts up, following him down. Another Stoner steps off another ledge. They fall into separate but parallel pits. Just before they hit the ground, a force field flicks and stops their bodies like a trampoline. They bounce slightly. There are now four of them down there, and they Peter Cotton-Tail triumphantly. I really hate this episode.