Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B | 104 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Ding Dong The Dead's A Witch
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.31.2013
A lot of good, kind, talented people pour their hearts into making this solid show, and I don't want to piss on it for the sake of pissing. While I work out these feelings (because let's face it, TVD moves so fast, it is bound to do something that makes me hate or love it again), I'm writing from my head rather than my gut, which is not how it usually works for me. Stray episodes or arcs aside, usually when I'm recapping, the words just spill onto the page. And when I have that feeling (be it love or hate) for a show I don't cover, my friends and family have to put up with my obsession. This season, recapping TVD has made me feel like I'm pretending I'm in love with a decent guy, to make my crush jealous. I feel ugly, mean and guilty. I don't want to be that girl, so I'm going to have to make some adjustments, to remind myself we're casual, and that's okay. I have to remember, I'm not spending all this time with TVD, because I can't bear to be separated from it. It's just that in addition to dating, we're in four classes together, have been assigned a couple of group projects, work at the same pizza joint and take the same bus to school.
The recap starts now. Previously, on The Vampire Diaries... look, I'm just dating the guy show, okay. I'm not going to obsess about all our past dates. Here's what you need to know: Bonnie is dead. Only Jeremy can see her. Stefan is Silas's doppelgänger. He wants Katherine, because, since she ingested the cure, she now is the cure. Dr. Maxfield decides to turn Jesse into a vampire. And here we go.
Now, on The Vampire Diaries, we open in Dr. Maxfield's lab. He's dictating notes into a little recorder as he experiments with Jesse, who doesn't even know what's going on. Jesse is subject "62547." Now, I can't believe that Maxfield has already experimented on 62,546 vampires, so that number is just goofy, Show. Sorry, just keeping it real.
Maxfield dictates something about Jesse's "initial transition." The phrasing makes me wonder if Jesse has fed at all, but since Maxfield states Jesse has gone three days without feeding, he must have fed once, otherwise he'd be dead, right? Maxfield teases the poor guy with blood, then inspects his fangs, sensitivity to light, etc. Jesse just can't figure out why he's so hungry. Maxfield dictates that Jesse seems to be a "perfect candidate." He means for shirtless scenes, right? Title card.