Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B | 104 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Ding Dong The Dead's A Witch
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.31.2013
Whitmore College. Exterior. Elena's writing in her diary, and asking it if it's sick of her writing about death, like the diary is sentient or something. Since I treat the show like it's a person, I shouldn't throw stones. Understandably, she's having a hard time dealing with Bonnie's death. Since I spent five paragraphs explaining that TVD and I are not serious, I'm not going to quote her narration.
We cut to the dorm. Caroline and Tyler are getting hot and heavy. Back on the quad, Dr. Maxfield appears and welcomes Elena back to school. When he asks her if she'll be at the costume ball, tonight, she says she wouldn't miss it. She lets her diary know she's using Maxfield (and the fact that he covered up Megan's death) as a distraction from Bonnie's death. A tear runs down Elena's cheek, but she sniffs and wipes it away. Bonnie is standing right by her side, and even though Elena can't see her, she tells her diary she chooses to believe her friend is watching over her. "Because that's who Bonnie is."
Elena's phone rings. When she sees that it's Damon calling, she ignores the call. Damon says, "Busted," and comes out of nowhere. They both chuckle but he wonders why she's been avoiding him for three days. She says they've been talking, but to Damon, one text in three days does not reach the level of talking. Oh wow. Is Elena just dating Damon to pass the time? That's not right, Show. Not after all the sturm und drang of the past two seasons. See, this is part of why I'm not in love with you. I don't really care which couples are together. Everyone is pretty, and there are cases to be made for each 'ship, but while you might be Lucy Van Pelt, teeing up the football, I'm not your Charlie Brown.
Anyhow, Damon drove all the way from Mystic Falls to Whitmore (which we were flat out told was a "few hours" away, which means at least three, right), to tell Elena he'd go to the costume ball with her, tonight. Now he's going to go back to Mystic Falls, and then come back to Whitmore again. Now I'm not pretending Damon obeys the speed limit, but when characters say a place is a "few hours" away, that should mean a distance of at least 150 miles or so, right? Practically speaking, Damon is not going to get to Whitmore in less than about two hours, just because at some point, something will slow him down, even if it's just getting on and off the highway.
My issue is this: the writers set Whitmore a few hours away from the Falls, on purpose, and although it hasn't yet been an issue, we know what that purpose is. At some point in the season, there will be some threat. The Fellowship of the Falls will have to get to Whitmore, but the clock will be ticking. In other words, they chose to set it at a distance, so that they will be able to eke dramatic tension out of that distance. That's fine, Show. Just respect your own damned rules, otherwise, I can't respect you. If I can't respect you, we're going to have a hard time keeping this casual, but not in the good way. I'm going to lose interest, altogether. All this bopping back and forth from home to the school in one day is beneath you, or should be. And even if it's not, it's beneath your audience. From beneath you, it devours.