Episode Report Card Cindy McLennan: B | 104 USERS: B+ YOU GRADE IT Ding Dong The Dead's A Witch
By Cindy McLennan | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 10.31.2013
At the Grill, Damon meets with Stylus. Via a shit ton of exposition from him (and from Bonnie, back at Mossy Manse) we learn Stylus needs to find whatever anchor Q-Tessa used to bind the spell that created the Other Side. In addition to curing himself of immortality with Katherine's blood, Stylus allegedly wants to destroy the Other Side (i.e. purgatory for supernaturals), supposedly so that once he kills himself, he can go to the lower-case other side, where his true love, Amara, awaits him.
The Exposition Fairy says, "Hey, this telescoping bullshit is skipping over some of my best work." I know, EF, but I just don't care. The Contrivance Fairy butts in. "Your best work? That's just like you, EF, taking credit while I slave away, and then talking over some of my best work. Did you not just see what I did? Who, but me, could manage to get an ancient Original Sorta Vampire, and his ancient, resurrected, spurned ex-fiancée witch to a costume ball, at an obscure private college, a "few hours" away? Without me, they wouldn't even know Whitmore existed, let alone be apprised of campus events, and yet here's Stylus telling Damon that's where they'll get the upper hand over Q-tessa." Stylus says, "...I still have my incredible powers of observation, and I observed [Q-tessa] buying a Cleopatra costume, today." The Contrivance Fairy says, "Oh you're going to take credit for getting everyone to the Event O' the week? I don't think so, Stylus. This show would not exist without me, and you all know it."
Back at Mossy Manse, Damon just wants to know if Stylus can do a spell to swap his life for Bonnie's right before he kills himself. Bonnie rants to Jeremy that it's too dangerous. With magic there are always consequences. She is dead set against it. The thing is, Damon can't hear Bonnie, so he asks Jeremy what her response is. Jeremy lies, "She's in." When Damon reports to Stylus that they have a deal, Stylus says they have half a deal, since so far, most of their talk has been about what Stylus can do for Damon. When Damon asks what he needs to do for Stylus, Stylus says, "It's fairly simple, actually. I want you to kill your brother." The Shocker Fairy says, "You didn't see that coming, did you." No, SF. I must admit I did not. Way to go. The Contrivance Fairy and the Exposition Fairy, leave in a huff. Commercial.
Katherine is pigging out on pancakes while Nadia tells Katherine she's been tailing her for 500 years. If Katherine will just indulge her with some answers, Nadia will free her. Katherine's all for that. Nadia brings up Mystic Falls' 1864 vampire round-up, and re-establishes that Katherine would sell out anyone to save her own, pretty hide. Katherine's response is vintage Katherine. "It is," says the Exposition Fairy, but only because of me." Quite right, EF.