Episode Report Card Aaron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT To Your Scattered Bodies Go
By Aaron | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.01.2003
Crate & Quarrel. David comes home to find Keith waiting for him in bed. "Are we having sex?" asks Keith, quite matter-of-factly. "Uh, okay," responds David. "Just let me go wax the floor first, all right? I think I got a splinter last time." Oh, just kidding. He actually says he wants to take a shower first. Cut to the bathroom, where we're treated to a hilarious montage of David preparing himself. First he sings as he lathers up in the shower (complete with gratuitous scrubbing motions in the general vicinity of his crotch), and then he brushes his teeth, flosses, grooms his chest hair, gargles with mouthwash, and uses an electric trimmer on the hair in both his nose and his ears. Hee! When he gets back, Keith is of course asleep, and David sadly crawls into bed beside him. Keith rolls over and snuggles up on David's chest, and we fade to white on David's exasperated grimace.
Fade back up on the morning after, only it's with Claire and JP instead of David and Keith. Claire wakes up to find the guy making coffee in his boxers, and unlike me, she totally fails to recoil in horror at the sight of the giant bird tattoo which adorns the right side of his chest. Seriously, people. Who thinks that sort of thing is attractive? Anyway, Claire tells him all about her "perfect circle" assignment, and in inimitable Claire-like fashion, she also describes it as being "stupid, tedious, and pointless." You mean, kind of like getting a giant body-covering tattoo? JP offers to play hooky with her, and she gladly accepts. Sigh.
Back home at the Fortress, Nate and David are starting their day in the office. David wants help covering a funeral in the afternoon, but Nate wants to know who "Frank Muehler" is, because he's listed in their date book for every Thursday at 2:00 PM. David tries to say that it must be someone Rico put in there, but when Nate threatens to call, he finally comes clean and admits that "Frank Muehler" is actually "Arye Gross." Nate is concerned that everything might not be okay with David and Keith, but David tries to put a positive spin on the fact that he's in couples counseling. "We're just seeking the advice of a trained professional to help us to establish appropriate boundaries and write the rules of our relationship together," he says. Oy. Didn't this guy once tell his own mother to "shut the fuck up" for talking about blueprints like that? "Keith has a lot of anger issues that he inherited from his father," David continues. "And I have a lot of doormat issues that I inherited from Mom." Heh. "Now can we please never talk about this again?" Nate agrees to drop the subject, although he might not have been so quick to do so if he knew that David was going to turn things around and ask about him and Lisa. "We're great," answers Nate. "It's still a little bizarre to me," he goes on. "Of all the possible ways my life could have gone, you know? I mean, it's just about a year ago I got engaged. Remember that? You know, I thought I loved Brenda. Or maybe I just thought I could make it work out of sheer will." Yeah. If by "sheer will" you mean "sheer willingness to ignore the fact that he impregnated another woman and she was sleeping with every man in the Valley." They both pause for a moment of silence in memory of the not-so-dearly departed Brenda Chenowith, and then David once again asks Nate to cover a funeral for him. This time, however, he explains that it's because he has an audition scheduled for the Los Angeles Gay Men's Chorus. "That sounds fun," says Nate. Heh. Nate agrees, and tells David to "knock 'em dead. No pun intended."