Episode Report Card Erin: C- | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Can I get mustard with that?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.01.2004
Anyway, Syd's all, uh, yeah, I don't think I can get past it. I don't know. I mean, who in the hell are you and what'd you do with my tortured non-ex-boyfriend? Vaughn's all, yeah, okay, will you at least think about it? Syd's all, uh, yeah, uh-huh, sure. And while I'm thinking about it, could you go have a decaf latte and some downers? Because, dude? You are freaking my shit out. Luckily, Dixon walks up before Vaughn can throw Syd down on the marble floor and start making her think about it NOW, dammit, NOW. Dix needs to see both of them immediately, and Syd follows directly after Dixon, grateful that she doesn't have to deal with Michael "Crazy Eyes" Vaughn for one more second.
Conference Room of Endless Expositions. Dix informs the troops that the CIA just intercepted that call Sloane made to Baldy McUnderworld. Unfortunately, they couldn't run a trace on the call. Right. Of course they couldn't. Because that would end the show RIGHT HERE. So, whatever, they couldn't trace the call, but they could listen in on it and figure out that Sloane's sending Baldy McUnderworld into some bunker in Russia to pick up some more Green Goo™. The bunker's inactive now, but back in the eighties, it used to be the center for Soviet Rambaldi research. Syd states that if they infiltrate the bunker, they can put a tracking device on one of the vials, and maybe that will lead them to Sloane. Dix tells Syd and Vaughn that they're going in and that Marshall will, of course, give them their op-tech.
"Where do we stand on finding [Moronen]?" Vaughn says with a trace of Crazy Eyes to his voice. Weiss just tells him that the FBI is on the job. Vaughn's all, oh, yeah. FBI. You know what that stands for, don't you? Fucking Ballbusting Idiots. (And if you don't know what movie that's from, then I don't want to know you. At all. Ever. And that means you. Go outside. And never come back. No. Don't come back.) Vaughn's all, so, aside from the FBI, we got our field agents on this? How about retraining Echelon satellites to pinpoint her from space? HOW ABOUT SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS VEIN JUMPING OUT OF MY FOREHEAD WRINKLES? Dix is all, oh, park it, Crazy Eyes. We're doing everything we can about your bitch of a wife. How 'bout you let us do our job and find Sloane? Huh? And here's a cookie laced with Xanax for your troubles. Have a lie-down on me, sailor.
Novgorod. Place of the Bunker. I'm not even bothering to look that up, people. That's how little I care. Syd and Vaughn, in broad daylight, make their way down some stairs. They're both dressed in mission black, they're both carrying guns, and they're both standing out like the targets they are. As they approach the facility, they see that there are a couple of dead soldiers lying around. Sloane beat them to it and he (or Baldy McUnderworld) might still be inside. They quickly head inside the bunker and see more dead guards. They make their way through a few dimly lit hallways until they come upon what looks like a makeshift research area. There are computers and devices and the like, but everything's been mussed up and messed around.