Episode Report Card Erin: C- | 1 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT Can I get mustard with that?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 21 | Aired on 05.01.2004
Nadia quickly escapes her other handcuff, grabs the IV pole, and shatters the remaining jars of Green Goo™, thereby eliminating Sloane's entire supply. Sloane recovers and uses a stun gun to subdue his daughter. Then he gets on the horn to someone and tells them that his stash of Green Goo™ has been compromised and he needs more, pronto. He offers some bald nefarious-looking fellow $5 mil to retrieve some bottles from a bunker somewhere and deliver them in 24 hours. Baldy McUnderworld just responds that he'll put a team together. And then he hangs up the phone and immediately calls Sark, who seems to be just chilling out in some dimly-lit Mafia location while Moronen looks on blankly. I really don't know. Sark just tells Baldy that whatever Sloane's offering, Sark will pay him double to let Sark in on the action.
Oops Center. And now is the time on Alias when Vaughn starts acting like a manbot. He enters the office and walks right over to Sydney. And, hello? How long has it been since he was tortured with an electric massage wand? Two days? Two weeks? I'm thinking it's more toward the two-day mark and is he made of KRYPTON or something? Because, seriously? The man should be napping. With the benefit of morphine. And preferably a daily diet of the Game Show Network. Whatever. He stalks over to Sydney, and she rightly asks what in the hell he's doing out of the hospital. Vaughn just tells her he checked himself out. Syd's all, uh, dude? You were electrocuted by a hot blond guy; you don't just check yourself out after that. Vaughn's all, yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna get back together or what? Okay, so he doesn't say that, but it's about as abrupt and weird.
"Whatever Lauren did to me," he says, apropos of nothing, "I want you to know I take full responsibility for what's happened. I messed up. And if you can't get past that, I understand but…will you try?" And that last part? The "will you try"? Yeah. That's delivered by Vaughn's doppelganger, who seems to be encased in a Tupperware container that's drifting along the Colorado River. And if this scene makes NO sense to you whatsoever, you're not alone. Because something was missing from one of the previous episodes, and that something was the reveal that Moronen was apparently brainwashing Vaughn. Just like Francie did to Will. And, no, this isn't a spoiler as much as it's a head-scratcher. Like, what? If you're going to go to all the trouble to create a potential storyline like that, then please, USE IT. But if you're not going to use it, then please, DON'T. Like, fully don't. Don't just remove all mention of it except for the occasional line dropped in here or there that doesn't make any fucking sense. Because right now? Vaughn is not only talking the crazy, he's also acting like someone just killed his mother with a hacksaw and he's ready for revenge. So, what? He went from sickly and beaten at the end of the last ep to jacked-up and nutso in the first five minutes of this one? Not right, my friends. Not right.