Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Drunk-Dialing Connie
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 03.17.2011
That evening, Deena makes Jell-O shots that Pauly announces he "wouldn't touch with your dick." Sitch joins the fold to tell the kids about his conversation with Connie. Speak of the devil, Ronnie walks in just as Connie calls yet again. JWOWW tells Sammi that Sitch spilled the beans about the latest episode of the SamRo 2.0 saga. Sammi thinks it's weird (I would add inappropriate) that Sitch would be on the phone with Ronnie's mom for nearly half an hour. She wants to punch that "dirty little grimy scumbag" in the face and immediately goes to Ronnie -- who is drunk-shaming his mother at that very minute -- to fill him in and express her rage.
She walks off to cool her heels, giving Ronnie the opportunity to go outside and talk it over with the housemates. Sitch tells Ronnie he heard rumors that Sammi very likely hooked up with the text-message lothario. JWOWW pragmatically suggests SamRo 2.0 call it even considering his (actual) indiscretions in Miami. Pauly and Ronnie both insist this summer in Jersey was supposed to start with a clean slate. Pauly adds that Sammi won't admit to what she did, which is off-base on multiple levels, including the fact that Ronnie only admitted his bullshit after being forced to and also the fact that there is no proof that Sammi actually did anything wrong. Not to mention the fact that they were broken up (albeit for about 36 hours) at the time of the supposed text affair. Ugh. It's too stupid to parse any further. But I'm sure they will for the rest of the unholy lives, even after the damn cameras leave. Vinny likewise goads Ronnie's insecurities. JWOWW says she thinks the guys are brainwashing Ronnie. To wit, Ronnie insists it only looks like The Situation is stirring the pot when, in fact, he's being a true friend. Unlike those note-writing hussies in Miami. It just goes to show for the bazillionth time that the loudest person at the Jersey Shore is the right one. Argh.
Inside, JWOWW fills in Sammi about the trash Sitch is talking. Sammi bursts outside, and the guys clam up. She calls Sitch a scheming, shady scumbag. Sitch sticks to his story and there's lots of overlapping screaming that ends with Sitch telling Sammi she's a bad arguer. Fair enough. Her main point does seem to be "You're a liar," though she can't prove irrefutably that she didn't do anything wrong. Then again, how do you prove the absence of something? She insists she has nothing to hide, so Ronnie tells Sitch to find Arvin's phone number so they can have a little conference call. And they call Sammi a sneaky bitch. A lot.