Episode Report Card Lady Lola: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Drunk-Dialing Connie
By Lady Lola | Season 3 | Episode 12 | Aired on 03.17.2011
That afternoon, the guys report to work. And by "work," I mean piercing both of Vinny's ears in the middle of the Shore Store. Gross. Vinny takes the pain without a flinch, and Pauly declares him Fresh To Death. He thinks Vinny is more gangster now. Because looking like a girl is totally street, yo.
The guys come home and prepare to go out, making fun of Deena's low-cut, denim shortalls along the way. Pauly says he doesn't think denim is in anymore. Did a guy with a 25-minute blowout really just imply he's an arbiter of fashion trends? The gang goes out -- minus SamRo 2.0, who decide to get wine and stay in -- and are getting their grenade on when Danielle the Israeli stalker pops up again. She tries to weasel her way back into the house (because she was treated so well last time?), but is rebuffed. Sitch thinks she "has plans to kidnap Pauly and slowly, slowly cut his blowout down to nothing." A modern day Sampson and Delilah, those two! Pauly assures her that he will not go anywhere alone with Danielle ever again.
Back at the house, SamRo 2.0 have a heart-to-heart. Or rather I should say that Sammi apologizes profusely while Ronnie stuffs his face with condiments. Appropriately, he says he has had a taste of what she went through in Miami and concedes that they have trust issues. Despite all evidence to the contrary, Sammi thinks her night with Ronnie is going splendidly. They head up to the smush room to get it in.
Back at da club, it's slim pickings. A heavier, blur-faced girl offers her services as a grenade. Pauly and Vinny politely decline, only to be met by some 50+-year-old lady that Pauly deems "the mother of all warriors" dancing up on them for the rest of the night. He thinks she's an atomic bomb about to blow. Watch out, Vinny, you might get pink eye! They eventually pick the least horrific girls in the crowd and bring them home. It's worth pointing out that even Sitch deems the girls that night not worth it, which does not speak well of Pauly and Vinny.
All's well that bends well, though. Unfortunately, Vinny fears he won't have the chance to figure that out when his chick invites her brother back to the house. Vinny thinks it's weird to hang out with a guy, then bag her sister. He gets straight to it, asking why the brother is hanging around. The brother says he just wants to know how his sister and her friend are getting home. Pauly sees this as his chance to get out of a grenade-tainted night, so he sends his would-be trick home immediately. Vinny, however, tells the bro he should pick up his sister the next morning. Guess it's not that weird, then, huh? Pauly's would-be trick calls him out for being a dick. Seeing that drama is a-brewing, Vinny cuts his losses and sends both girls home. Pauly's near-miss starts to talk, and Deena shushes her, saying, "I think it's better if you don't say anything." Now that girl is going to know a unique form of humiliation, being shushed by the person who didn't realize she had no swimsuit bottoms on.