Episode Report Card Michael Neal: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Scrump That Screwed Christmas
By Michael Neal | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 12.11.2008
Lutz's First Line of the Season.Jack: "Brainstorming session. Go."
Lutz: [Crying] "I don't wanna do this."
A Backstreet Boys Joke in Five Years.
Jenna: "Mr. Donaghy, as leader of this group I have to put my foot down. Christmas is a sacred time for me and my surrogate family. So if you're willing to look four 25-year old gay guys in the eyes and tell them that we're not going to see New Kids on the Block at the Borgata, be my guest."
Grizz Gets Touchy.
Lemon: "Thank you so much for carrying that. I will buy you guys dinner later."
Grizz: "Liz, we both have girlfriends."
Sarcastic Inner-Voice.
Lemon: "Tracy, I'm going to need you to take a picture. Just the push the little button on top."
Tracy: [Sarcastic] "Thanks a lot. I never operated a camera before."
[Not at all sarcastic]
"I'm serious. That was very helpful."
Like the Music of ABBA.
Jack: "Every year the dreadful moment would arrive when I would catch Mr. Schwarz caressing my mother's bony thigh. And I'd say 'eyes on the keys, Jackie boy. Keep your eyes on the keys.' And they would ask me to play 'White Christmas' and it would turn into some boozy, burlesque travesty. Every time I hear that song I get aroused."
Or to the Hand.
Lemon: "I would like to talk to whoever screens the letters to Santa."
Irene: "Then you'd better talk to that box."
There's Always Good Work at the Post Office.
Lemon: "Can you help me out with her?"
Tracy: "Oh really? We're both black so we must know each other."
[Noticing Irene]
"Hey! Irene!"
Irene: "Hey Tracy!"
Tracy: "Did Vicky hook you up with this job?"
Irene: [Rolls her eyes] "Yeah."
Tracy: "Oh girl, you better stop!"
Zing!
Lemon: "You don't know the Postmaster General do you?"
Jack: "I do but we had a falling out over the Jerry Garcia stamp. If I want to lick a hippie I'll just return Joan Baez's phone calls."
One Job Obama Ain't Bringing Back.
Colleen: "I'm sweating like a grape picker."
Line of the Night.
Lemon: "It was just two dudes, Kenneth. They scammed me and now they're selling that stuff on eBay. There were no kids up there and there definitely weren't any hugs around here."