Episode Report Card Cate: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Family Secrets
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.22.1996
At dinner, Simon is bombarding Renee with personal questions, which she handles quite well. When she says that one child "may be enough," Simon glumly informs her, "My mom has five." That was pretty funny. RevCam tries to change the subject, but none of the other family members are willing to help, so Simon goes back to besieging the poor pregnant girl with his questions.
Later, RevCam asks Dopey why he couldn't come to him with this. Dopey says, "What, I'm supposed to tell you everything and you won't tell me what's going on with Grandma?" I hate to say it, but he's got a good point. I'm not sure what RevCam's point is here, since everyone knows Dopey doesn't have sex. So what's the problem with him hanging out with Renee? RevCam says he's proud of Matt for being friends with someone who especially needs friends right now, but that what Renee really needs is her parents and the father of her baby. Dopey says that Renee's mother is gone and her father wants nothing to do with her. RevCam puts on a thoughtful look while he contemplates all the trite and annoying things he will say to Renee's father when he gets involved with something that's not even remotely his business. Because you know he's going to get involved, right?
Upstairs, his lovely daughters are prancing around their bedroom with basketballs under their shirts while they make disparaging remarks about being pregnant. Lucy says she can't even imagine kissing a guy, but Mary can. Mary delivers a quick PSA when she informs us that you can't get pregnant from kissing. Lucy indicates that she doesn't know how one does get pregnant. Um, she's thirteen, right? Ignorance like that is just scary. 7th Heaven isn't about to help out by providing any answers, though. Mary just tells Lucy to "stop at the kissing part" so she won't have to worry. Hey, such a good idea to keep young girls completely ignorant about sex. That will ensure that they never have it. And I'll bet if you restrict young people's access to birth control, they simply won't have sex either, right? ["And Lucy's old enough to have had these things explained to her as part of SuperMom's pregnancy with Ruthie -- why didn't they just tell her the facts then? Oh, what am I saying. The CamRents probably don't even know themselves." -- Sars]
Dopey is telling RevCam he doesn't understand why some girls have sex all the time and don't get pregnant, but that Renee got pregnant just doing it once. Uh, Dopey, you're talking to the wrong guy about birth control. You know that, right? Dopey adds, "It's not fair. She's so nice." Well, that's good, because otherwise they couldn't have her on the show -- you know, if she'd had sex more than once or, God forbid, actually enjoyed it.