Episode Report Card Cate: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Family Secrets
By Cate | Season 1 | Episode 2 | Aired on 09.22.1996
Before this scene can descend even further into offensiveness, Mary interrupts, asking if RevCam minds if she speaks to Dopey alone. RevCam, in fact, does mind, which is kind of weird of him. Mary is upset because Jeff broke his date with her, and she thinks it has something to do with Dopey telling Jeff she was using him just to get kissed. Dopey suavely explains that he and Jeff talk about this sort of thing all the time, and warns her, "You want to go out with him, you get talked about." You know, Dopey, it is physically possible to restrain yourself from sharing all the details of your romantic relationships. Trust me, people do it all the time. RevCam steps in with the revolutionary suggestion that Mary tell Jeff she is not using him to get kissed. Wow, I can't believe I'm typing dialogue this stupid. At least I'm not responsible for creating it. RevCam continues with the advice that Mary should go on "many, many, many, many dates" before she considers kissing anyone. Sadly, while this might seem like another misguided attempt at comedy, I suspect that the advice is meant to be real. Dopey has the gall to chastise RevCam for allowing Mary to date, saying, "Mary's too young to date. Haven't you learned anything from this whole Renee thing?" Ha! I knew it. Dopey doesn't even know what sex is. I'll bet he thinks Renee got pregnant because she kissed a guy.
I hope he wasn't talking too loudly, because Renee is still in the house, talking to SuperMom in the kitchen. Man, that's tacky to discuss her like that when she's ten feet away. Renee is spouting a whole bunch of platitudes about how she didn't think this was the direction her life would take her. Blah, blah.
Ah, so now we come to the part of the show where RevCam sticks his nose into the business of the tertiary characters and resolves all their problems in sixty minutes or less. He's at the house of Renee's father, who tries to shut the door on RevCam, sullenly claiming he doesn't have a daughter. Like a bad case of termites, RevCam refuses to go away, despite the fact that Renee's father closes the door on him again. He has the good sense to give up after the third door-slamming, though.
In the guys' bedroom, SuperMom is telling Simon, "The puppies are not your fault, but you should have told us about the shoes when Happy ate the first one." Good heavens, I certainly hope Simon's not the father of the puppies. He promises to find a way to pay for the ruined shoes. When Ruthie asks, "How?" Simon tells her, "This is an adult conversation." Okay, this scene is just...wrong, and in so many ways.