Episode Report Card Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Under Pressure
By Alex Richmond | Season 7 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.10.2002
Credits. Seeeaa-venth heaven! When I see their happy faces, smilin' back at me...seeeaa-venth heaven! Where can you gooo! When the world don't treat you right? The answer is hoooome! Mmmm! Seeeaa-venth heaven! Woof!
Eric stares, puzzled, at Rabbi Lewis, who washes fruit in the kitchen sink. Eric is probably wondering, "Doesn't he have a wife to wash fruit for him?" Or, "Wow, look at that Jew wash his fruit. Yes, the Jews: they love clean fruit, all right. That, and their women don't like to have sex that much. Plus, they run the entertainment industry and control all the money. Did you know that HBO stands for Hebrew Box Office? Well, it does. Oh, shit, the Jew is talking. I'd better pretend to listen." Rabbi Lewis apologizes for not coming over earlier to check in on Eric. It's just that he was so busy what with subbing over at the church and checking in on his own "flock." Then he goes on a little riff on what a cool word "flock" is. "Fff-loc-K." Rabbi Lewis looks totally Amish, by the way, in his blue shirt and black vest. Hey, Rabbi Lewis, where's your horse and buggy? Got any weed? Get thyself back to Curb Your Enthusiasm, and go and suck no more. He says that Eric looks good, as good as a guy that only had a single bypass. Ha ha, not. So, will he have to sub this Sunday? No -- "the church hired a replacement." Eric grits his teeth at the thought. Rabbi Lewis says if he wasn't doing a good enough job as a Rabbi holding church services, he wishes that someone would have told him. Ooh, I'll do it. Richard? Mr. Lewis? This is terrible. And not just you! The whole thing is really, really bad. Please end it now. End the suffering. Eric says Rabbi Lewis was replaced as his replacement because he was replaced. "Only they call it 'helping.'" I had no idea religion was this political. Actually, yes I did. What I really didn't know that the politics of religion could be this dull. Like, wow, RevEric feels usurped. I bet every time that happens, the Pope orders another set of pointy hats. And the Pope is hip-high in hats, if you get my meaning.
Rabbi Lewis feels incredibly guilty that RevEric has been replaced. Or, he "can't get over the feeling that this has everything to do with [him]." How many characters on this show feel that they are the center of the universe? Rabbi Lewis clutches himself and doubles over, berating himself for letting the congregation out ten minutes early, just so they could be first in line at the new restaurant down the street. He should have been sure all of them "were drenched in the blood of the lamb." Which is, again, exactly? Rabbi Lewis isn't quite sure, and the imagery also makes him sick. RevEric says, "It's Jesus." Rabbi Lewis says, "Oh, I'm sorry." Heh. Sorry about the whole Jesus-being-crucified thing? Sure you are. Actually, Christians should thank the Jews for that. What drama! What great imagery! I mean, that was the whole high point of the Bible! It's not like The Odyssey, with sirens and testicle-eating dogs and giant hydras -- you know, something to look forward to in every chapter. The Odyssey beats the Bible cold for creative acts of violence. Then Eric ruins the whole thing by saying that the blood of the lamb is "a metaphor, and has nothing to do with" Rabbi Lewis. "Not that Jesus has nothing to do with you," since everyone knows Jesus was black -- I mean, "Jewish" -- but the associate pastor thing has nothing to do with Rabbi Lewis. Rabbi Lewis still can't believe it. RevEric is all, you should meet this guy. Or maybe not. Maybe we should go and spy on him. Spy on the new associate pastor? I can't think of anything more stupid. Well, the idea that Eric and Rabbi Lewis are like Starsky and Hutch is pretty stupid. Rabbi Lewis says the idea gives him heartburn. That, and he doesn't want to drive, since the person that drives is always the person that gets arrested. Okay, that's the stupidest thing.