Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How To Disarm A Terrorist
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.01.2007
Wayne is sitting with Karen and Sandra outside the Battle Bridge as they discuss what to do to the Veep if the Cabinet keeps Wayne in office. Wayne says that he can't exactly fire him, so Sandra advises him to kick the Veep out of the Bunker. Wayne doesn't want to alienate the Veep's supporters, and would rather be able to keep an eye on him anyway. This would be a much shorter discussion on Rome. Also, all three of them would be fucking. I'm still adjusting to the loss. Wayne's secretary enters to report that the Cabinet is reconvening.
Everyone returns to the Battle Bridge, and Tom calls the vote. He asks for the votes in favor of Wayne staying in office. Unlike Season 2, there's no nifty software application to build up suspense; Tom simply counts the raised hands, confirms that there are no abstentions, and announces with a rueful chuckle that the vote is 7-7. Swell move starting that Department of Homeland Security, whoever's idea that was on this show. Tom turns to the videoconference screen with the Attorney General on it, and asks what they do next. The AG says that they're done: since removing the President requires a majority vote, and there isn't one, Wayne gets to keep his job. Wayne's celebratory smile with his sister is short-lived, however, because the Veep pipes up to declare one of the Cabinet votes invalid. Can you guess whose it is? Yes, it's Karen's, because she resigned nine hours ago and spent most of it not going to Los Angeles. Karen says that she came back, but the Veep says that's not good enough. Karen angrily yells at him that she was in a Cabinet meeting with him less than an hour ago. The Veep retorts, "Allowing you to sit in on a meeting isn't the equivalent of recognizing you as National Security Advisor. In fact, I did not and do not so recognize you." Maybe it would have been a good idea to mention that before the vote, but nobody points that out, because now the entire rest of the Cabinet has inexplicably been struck dumb. But then you know how much politicians hate to talk. The Veep says that since Karen's vote doesn't count, the vote is now 6-7 in favor of the Veep. "I'm sorry, Wayne," he lies. Wow, he really must be right if he doesn't have to call him "Mr. President" anymore. Wayne stands and says he's not going to let the Veep steal the presidency. The Veep asks what he plans to do about it. Tom says it's a matter for the courts, and Karen is quick to agree. Well, that should make for a riveting Season 7. The Veep is about to go into a rant about how they don't have time, but the AG cuts in to say that the Supreme Court just happened to have been in session today (just because terrorists are running around with nukes and blowing things up from coast to coast is no reason the highest court in the land can't get together and split some hairs about the 287th Amendment or some such). The upshot is that the justices can be quickly recalled for a decision in less than an hour. Mr. Attorney General, have you ever tried to wake up a ninety-year-old man after midnight? They don't care for it. But as Wayne winces in pain, Tom tells the AG to get going on that and ends the meeting. Wayne and the Veep glare at each other across the room, until Wayne turns and limps out. The Veep whispers to Lisa, "Get my affidavit started." He calls out to Tom, who was just leaving, and fixes him with the scariest angry-dad look he can muster. Which is, you know, pretty scary. "You know something?" he rumbles. "I'm beginning to think you're not on my side." How very astute of him. Tom mildly says that he's on the side of the United States: "And if you ever thought otherwise, you're very much mistaken." So there. The Veep's giant face glares us right into the commercial at 9:20:07.