Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How To Disarm A Terrorist
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.01.2007
Wayne, still rather unsteady on his feet, enters the Battle Bridge with his doctor. Everyone stands to greet him, and the Veep shakes his hand, smarming that they're all happy to have him back. Karen rolls her eyes all the way up to the ground floor of the White House. Wayne gets tired of trying to squish the Veep's hand, so everyone takes his or her seat to get started. Tom opens the proceedings by explaining that after the attempt on Wayne's life, his injuries were so serious that his life had to be saved by inducing a temporary coma. That makes it sound really bad, until you remember that Wayne was unconscious for all of five hours. You suppose he woke up asking, "How long was I out? What year is it? Who's the president? No, seriously, who's the president?" Tom says that the question now before the Cabinet is whether Wayne is up to performing his duties after what amounts to a medically induced power-nap. A Cabinet secretary -- I'll guess the Surgeon General, because it amuses me to do so -- asks if this isn't actually a medical question, and whether they'll be allowed to hear medical testimony. Tom takes that as his cue to call up Wayne's doctor. Dr. Welton stands behind Wayne's chair and states his opinion: the worst of the danger is over, Wayne's thinking-cap still fits (as well as ever, that is), and Dr. Welton expects him to make a full recovery. The Maybe Surgeon General asks the doctor how he would vote on this question. But Tom quickly rises to cut off that line of questioning, saying that it's up to the Cabinet. He dismisses Dr. Welton and gives the floor to Wayne.
Without standing, Wayne leans forward in his seat and tells everyone that although the Veep is really only mounting this challenge because Wayne called off his nuclear strike, the vote isn't about policy. He says they can all see that he's awake and alert, so voting to remove him "would be to betray both [their] oath and the American people, who voted [Wayne] as their president." Pretty simple argument. But then the American people also voted the Veep as their vice president to take over in case Wayne got blown up or something, so it's not quite the betrayal he implies. Tom hands things over to the Veep for a rebuttal. The Veep's argument is a bit longer and more nuanced, possibly because, of the two parties, he's the one whose brain isn't getting claustrophobic. He says that the 25th Amendment is intentionally vague so as to allow for the removal of the President under different kinds of circumstances. "When a second nuclear attack spread radiation over one of our major cities," he distorts, he decided to retaliate. And then Wayne called off the retaliation the minute he woke up. The Veep argues that this proves Wayne isn't fit to defend the country in a time of war. What does Wayne have to say about that? Nothing. Debate's over. Thanks for coming, everyone. Look, it's not like I want another long, drawn-out "Trial of President Palmer" arc like from Season 2, but they could at least find a way to indicate that the discussion lasted longer without making us sit through it. I mean, if the debate gets too boring, they can always cut to a more exciting subplot, like the continuing romantic misadventures of Milo and Nadia. But Tom says that they're in a hurry, so he wants to recess and then reconvene to cast their votes in ten minutes. Which is longer than the actual hearing took. Don't believe me? It's only 9:09:07.