Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT How To Disarm A Terrorist
By M. Giant | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.01.2007
Things aren't going as well in the conference room that the Veep is using to go over his own affidavit with Lisa. Apparently, his far-from-airtight argument is that he never intended to reinstate Karen, so she had no authority to cast a vote under the 25th Amendment. Lisa points out that the Veep treated her as the NSA after she returned, so it's not like they have a great chance of winning. "Then I am deeply afraid for our country," he drama-Veeps. He speechifies that once the world sees Wayne's refusal to "fight back," terrorists will be lining up to attack with impunity. Lisa seems to agree with him. And then she has an idea. A wonderful, awful idea. She stands up and offers to swear that the Veep told her earlier today to tell Karen that she wasn't going to be reinstated, but that Wayne was revived before Lisa could do so. The Veep tells her that's perjury. "The end justifies the means," says Lisa. "My affidavit will push the Court to rule in your favor so that you can do what's right for this country." The Veep grapples with his conscience, and kicks its ass handily. In fact, if you pause at just the right moment, you can see a tiny little green-smeared tailcoat and top hat smushed into one corner. "Do it," says the Veep. He takes her hand and grossly thanks her. She peels his grody mitt off of her with a soft "Yes, sir."
At 9:33:52, Fayed's panel truck pulls into a garage somewhere. He offloads the two remaining nukes to a minion and announces that two other minions are coming along with him in the truck to met Gredenko. He promises to be back within an hour. The minion staying behind asks what happens if Fayed doesn't return. Fayed takes this very personally, like his underling just wants to take his place. But the minion argues that they can go ahead without Gredenko, and still do a lot of damage without unnecessary risk. But Fayed's made up his mind. He and two of his guys are out of there.
At the White House Bunker, Tom taps on the conference room door and asks for a moment alone with the Veep. Lisa gets up and leaves, probably already knowing she's busted. Once it's just Tom and the Veep, Tom tells him, "There is something in this room you need to know about, sir." Right then is when I know the room is bugged, but the Veep is either slower than I am or in denial, because Tom has to go over and show him the tiny transmitter stuck to the bottom of a decorative tray. He explains that after the Veep made Tom lie to the Mideastian ambassador, Tom decided to protect himself, whatever that means: "Now it turns out I was protecting the country as well." The Veep tries to be all quietly threatening, but he would be better off just being quiet. Tom produces a little digital recorder and plays back some two-minute-old audio of the Veep telling Lisa to lie to the Supreme Court. Tom reminds the Veep that conspiracy to commit perjury is a felony, and directs the Veep to call the Supreme Court and say he's no longer objecting to Wayne's presidency. I'm sure they'll be pissed at having been gotten out of bed for nothing, but at least it wouldn't have taken them long to get dressed. It's 9:37:02.