Episode Report Card Pamie: B+ | 105 USERS: C+ YOU GRADE IT Control Your Woman
By Pamie | Season 5 | Episode 12 | Aired on 2005.1.001
Lorelai leaves, and mfTL enters. Lane bounds up to mfTL, ready to accept his gushing praise. Except mfTL isn't all that turned on by the lack of specs. He liked her glasses. "You don't look like you," he says. "You're the first smart girl I've ever gone out with, and the glasses are a big part of that." Lane says that her IQ didn't change, only the plastic she wore on her face. MfTL is bummed that people will have to talk to Lane for a little while to determine that she's not dumb. Lane is okay with that. MfTL's not. When a patron asks if he's supposed to eat his soup without a spoon, mfTL yells at him that Lane's not stupid; she's just not wearing her glasses.
Brah-braah-braaaah. Big man fancy talk in Richard's some-kind-of-office. Something about a lawsuit, secretary, brah-braah-brahhh-cigars and brandy-mwah-ah-ahhh. Man, I gotta go to bed. That's the weirdest collection of words I've ever called "recapping." Good night.
So it's a couple of days later and I'm REALLY STOKED to finish this recap with y'all. No, for reals. I love you guys. Where were we? Oh, yeah. Business guys. Cigars. Lots of big, corporate dick-measuring. They're talking about whether or not "He" will settle, or if they're going to court. I don't know if they're discussing Digger or not. Richard says they're going to need outside counsel for this because it's going to get messy. He suggests Simon McClaine. The other two guys stammer and look anywhere but at Richard as they tell him they figured Simon would be the wrong person for the job, considering his relationship with Emily. Richard takes a moment, processes what they just said, and plays it like he's known all along that Simon and Emily had a relationship. Does that mean all of his business people know Richard and Emily have separated? You'd think Emily would have made more of a deal out of this, upset at what people are assuming about them as they're living their lives straight out of the pages of Tony and Carmela's marriage handbook. Edward Hermann is such a good actor. He takes just a beat before asking, "What about Brant?" The other two agree that Brant is a great choice. Poor Richard. (Run Lola Run soundtrack.)
Lorelai seems pretty mellow with the fact that Cletus has escaped again and is standing in a neighbor's wading pool. Lorelai's quickly turning into the kind of white trash who don't care where her animals roam or who her children sleep with, as long as some man comes to fix her problem with her VEE-hickle. Michel busts in to tattle that he found a mussed bed in Room 3 after he checked it last night and saw it was perfect. "No muss!" he shouts. "No fuss!" Lorelai shouts back. Michel's in no mood for jokes. He has decided that employees are using the rooms for "clandestine encounters" on their coffee breaks. He thinks it's "Lars" and "Celia," due to Celia's recent weight gain. Poor Michel. He doesn't seem to know that new sex makes you lose weight. Sookie suggests they might have a ghost at the inn, an explanation Lorelai's much more interested in exploring. Michel takes the shenanigans until "Hungry Horny Ghosts." Remember that game? Mom took ours because she kept stepping on the marbles that would fall onto the floor. Kirk's in the kitchen, assembling a bouquet, trying to determine if he'd like to work on a kitchen staff some day. I'd love to see Kirk do his taxes. How many W-2s does he receive in a year? Is he incorporated? Is he also his own accountant? Sookie and Lorelai fire Kirk. Lorelai gets a phone call.