Episode Report Card Erin: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Papa, Can You Hear Me?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.22.2003
The monitors come back to life. As Jack starts to head out, he hears FEMA Dude tell Security Guy to call Blackman and inform him that they're back online. Jack looks panicked and starts moving faster. Security Guy gets on the horn and asks for Director Blackman. Jack nears the door and hears Security Guy go, "Out of the country? I just spoke with him. He said he was in Washington." FEMA Dude gets wise and shouts at Jack, "HEY!" Well, that's an effective way to make someone stop. Outside, the Hot 'n' Handsome van screeches up and Jack starts running toward it. FEMA Dude and Security Guy bust out of the doors just as Sloane opens the van door and steps out, beckoning Jack to run for it. Jack does. Security Guy pulls a gun and demands that Jack get his hands in the air. Jack dives into the van just as Security Guy takes a shot. Sloane suddenly jumps in front of Jack's retreating back and takes the bullet. D'oh! Hope he's got some extra Rambaldi Life Juice in a canteen somewhere.
Commercials. Okay, the new Pepsi commercials are totally cute. "Hot dogs love Pepsi." Hee. And I hate to say it, but I totally want to see The Last Samurai. Not because of Tom Cruise, but in spite of him. The stunts look amazing and Cruise did 99 percent of them, so that's pretty cool. Besides, I just love all that Japanese culture shit. Especially samurais. I don't like my friend Sandman's Japanese girlfriend, but that's because she's eighteen pounds of crazy in a two-pound bag, not because she's from the Land of the Rising Sun. Oh, and Trista and Ryan are really fucking annoying, and I give them a year before he dumps her sorry pink-loving ASS.
Spy Daddy's Super-Secret Storage Warehouse of Weaponry. The Boys enter and throw Sloane down onto a table in the center of the room. Jack shouts at Vaughn to get some 4x4s. Vaughn goes to some huge cabinet at the end of the room that's filled with medical supplies. So, it would seem that, in addition to millions of Saran-Wrapped stacks of moola and a mini-arsenal that rivals anything Osama Bin Laden might have tucked away beneath a mountain, Spy Daddy also maintains a well-stocked makeshift operating room. Man. The only well-stocked makeshift ANYTHING my father kept was his model ship-making studio in the basement. I don't really think that would have helped me out if one of my boyfriends had been shot en route to the Burger King in downtown Lake Forest.
Jack cuts away Sloane's shirt as he groans and grimaces. Vaughn keeps pressure on the wound as Jack tells Sloane to breathe. As Vaughn applies pressure, Jack pulls out an ampoule and a needle. Vaughn's all, what's that? Jack's all, morphine, dude. Vaughn's all, hey, I want a hit as much as the next guy, but don't you think we should wait until AFTER we get this bullet out of Uncle Arvin? Jack's all, duh, dumbass, the morphine's FOR Uncle Arvin. Sloane pipes up, "No! No morphine! I'll go into anaphylactic shock!" Jack's all, dude? We have to dig the bullet out! Sloane's all, you gimme that shot and I'll be dead before you hit the bullet! "And don't get any ideas," he grunts. Heh. Yeah. That death-by-morphine thing is SO going to be significant later.