Episode Report Card Erin: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Papa, Can You Hear Me?
By Erin | Season 3 | Episode 8 | Aired on 11.22.2003
Speaking of Sloane, he's underground, watching Vaughn work and passing the time by snarking on Killjoy. He's all, you know, I've spent a lot of time with your little woman as of late and I can definitely say that you're a lucky man. Vaughn's all, yeah, if by "lucky" you mean "really annoyed that I have to stay married to that snitch monster until such time as she's rendered dead and I can make out again with Sydney." Sloane keeps trying to get a rise out of Vaughn by surmising that all of this crap they've been going through has put a strain on the Elephants' relationship. Vaughn just ignores him and feeds a fiber optic camera up some tube. He successfully gets the camera up the tube (hee hee -- everything's pornographic if you make it so) and grunts at Sloane to "make the call."
Back at the FEMA front desk, a phone rings. Security Guy picks up and Sloane's on the other end, pretending to be Director Blackman. He acts all pissed off that the system's been down for thirty minutes, and Security Guy assures him that they're working on it. Sloane just starts to rail on the guy about security and terrorism as Vaughn continues pushing the camera up the tube, even though I really thought he got it up there just a second ago. Yeah. I have no idea what's going on. Except Sloane's chewing Security Guy a new asshole and the result is that he demands to have FEMA Dude put on the line immediately. Security Guy calls up FEMA Dude and tells him that the director wants to talk to him, like, NOW. FEMA Dude leaves, telling Jack to wait for him there. Yeah. Because there are no PHONES in this room. Whatever.
Once FEMA Dude leaves, Marva starts up again with her what-have-I-got-to-do-ing, and Jack gets to work. He starts going through all these blueprint drawers. Vaughn continues trying to get the camera up to Jack. He finally makes it and snakes it around, finally pinpointing Jack's location. FEMA Dude gets to the front desk, picks up the phone, and orders Security Guy to go check on Jack. He leaves, and FEMA Dude starts talking to Sloane. Back in the blueprint room, Jack's still looking. He finally finds the drawings and holds them up to Vaughn's camera as Sloane bawls out FEMA Dude. Vaughn takes pictures of the blueprints. Security Guy makes his way toward Jack. Jack continues holding up prints, Vaughn continues taking pics, and Sloane continues taking chunks out of FEMA Dude's ass.
Sloane's actual dialogue is hilarious. "As I'm sure you're aware, the people of Los Angeles face a myriad of potential disasters. No, we're not just talking about terrorism. In case you haven't noticed, we're due for another earthquake. Plus, because of the recent forest fire, we're susceptible to mudslide. Not to mention the fact that there seems to be a riot breaking out every time the Lakers win." Hee. Sloane finishes his tirade and Vaughn looks up at him, nodding confirmation that the blueprints have been captured. "Just make sure you get it done," says Sloane, slamming the phone closed. Security Guy enters the room and finds Jack finishing up his work. "Nothin' to it! You should be back online," declares Jack, zipping up his tools. Okay, that's totally pornographic. Sorry. Jack hands the tools to Security Guy and they head out to the desk.